At first I didn’t know it was her. Just a brilliant
spill of bright blonde hair and a small slim body in a
pink blouse and snug faded blue jeans, standing in line
at the coffee shop. I was behind her and I looked her
over, admiring her lovely hair and her cute little ass.
But then I heard her order a tall mocha and recognized
“Make it two,” I said, sliding a ten dollar bill over
the counter to the barista.
For a fraction of a moment the beautiful little blonde
regarded me with suspicion, but then she realized it
was me and her face lit up with surprise and delight.
“Oh my God!” she cried. She threw her arms around me
and I laughed into her golden hair as she hugged me.
“Oh, Andy,” she said against my neck, “I can’t believe
it’s you. Where have you been? It’s so good to see
“It’s good to see you too, Nikkie,” I said.
She stepped back and we looked at each other. I
couldn’t be sure of what she thought about me, but my
own reaction to seeing her was the same as it had
always been: startled, and just a bit sad. My baby
sister was still the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.
“It’s been so long,” she said. “I’ve missed you so
“I’ve missed you too.” I took my change from the
barista, who was beaming at us as if she was
responsible for some grand romantic reunion. I grabbed
Nikkie’s hand and said, “Let’s go sit down.”
We got a table near the door and sat across from each
“Well, Nikkie,” I said, “you’re still as lovely as
Nikkie smiled shyly and replied, “Oh, thank you, Andy.
You’re always so sweet.” She reached over and lightly
punched my shoulder. “You’re still a cutie too. So,
what have you been doing? Where’ve you been? Are you
still in school? Are you doing okay?”
“Hold on,” I said, laughing, “one question at a time.”
I filled her in on what I’d been up to in the three
years since we’d last seen each other: I hadn’t left
the city, just kind of hung around downtown, moving
from one job to the next while I got through college;
I’d worked as a janitor, as a security guard, a
cabinetmaker (the best paying job I’d had, though it
only lasted one summer), even a car wash attendant. But
now that I had my bachelor’s degree I was working as a
proofreader at a small downtown publishing firm. The
hours were lousy, the pay even worse, but it wasn’t
dangerous or physically demanding and I had the chance
now to pay more attention to my writing.
“So, what are you doing, Nikkie?” I asked.
“Me? I’m on my break,” Nikkie replied with a
“Two tall mochas,” the barista called from the coffee
“You little brat,” I said, then went and got our
drinks. When I returned I said, “So, if you’re on your
break, you must be working.”
“Sure am,” Nikkie replied. “I’m an administrative
assistant at the adult education center next door.”
“The place next door? Kind of a rough clientele, isn’t
it?” From what I’d heard, the place mainly catered to
the homeless, and to people recovering from d**g and
“Nothing I can’t handle,” my little sister replied with
a shrug. She sipped at her coffee and said, “Besides, I
don’t really have much to do with the students. Mostly
I just push paper and make typing noises on the
computer all day. Which I’m gonna have to get back to.
I’m only on a fifteen minute break.”
“Yeah, me too. But Nikkie, I want to talk to you so
bad. What do you say we get together later on? Probably
not tonight because I’m working late. How about
tomorrow? It’s Saturday.”
“That would be great,” Nikkie said. My baby sister put
her soft hand on top of mine. “I’d love to spend more
time with you, Andy. Get caught up and everything.”
“Then it’s a date,” I said.
We got up from the table and headed for the door. When
we got outside we hugged each other goodbye. Nikkie
kissed me on the neck and said, “I live on the corner
of Second and Trade Street. Apartment 208. Can you make
it around noon?”
“Absolutely,” I said. I could smell the sweet scent of
lilacs in her beautiful hair as she continued to hold
“Oh God, Andy, I really have missed you.”
“I know, sweetheart.” I kissed her quickly on the lips.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Can’t wait,” Nikkie said. I turned to go but she
stopped me with a hand on my arm. “Hey, did you mean
“Did I mean what?”
“When you said it was a date. Are we going on a date?”
She had that mischievous grin on her face again.
“Sure,” I said. “If you want it to be a date, then
it’ll be a date.”
Nikkie smiled and her big blue eyes shined.
“Wonderful,” she said.
We parted reluctantly and I walked back to work,
absently drinking my espresso and telling myself that I
was an incredibly lucky guy; I had a date with the most
beautiful girl in the world.
The neighborhood Nikkie lived in wasn’t the best in the
city, but it wasn’t the worst either. Mostly low income
apartment buildings and mom and pop shops, with a
coffeehouse, a bohemian theatre, an antique store, an
adult bookstore, and restaurants scattered here and
there. I’d been a little surprised when she told me her
address; for the last year or so since she’d moved out
of our parents’ house we had lived only six blocks from
each other and didn’t even know it.
I’d gone into some of the shops, had bought coffee on
the corner, had watched a few independent films at the
theatre and frequented the adult bookstore on a regular
basis, and yet we had never run into each other. Not
that Nikkie had ever gone into the adult bookstore,
though I wondered now as I drove past its garish neon
sign and bright red door and parked in front of her
apartment building, if she’d ever seen me going in or
coming out. It was probably a relatively good thing
that we hadn’t reunited until now.
As I entered Nikkie’s building and followed the
apartment numbers down the hallway and around the
corner, I thought about her, about how much she’d
changed in the last three years, and how much she
hadn’t changed. She was sixteen when I left home, just
a cute young k*d who looked younger and purer than she
really was. She still looked too young and too pure,
but it seemed more like just appearances now.
I wasn’t sure what it was about her that gave me that
impression; maybe something in those beautiful blue
eyes, or her posture, or the way she’d looked at me and
talked to me, more like a downtowner than a young girl
from the upper middle class neighborhoods of the West
End. Maybe it was just how nice her ass had looked in
those blue jeans. Whatever it was, I knew as I came up
on apartment 208 that I was dealing now with someone
who was going to be new to me in some ways and yet just
as familiar as ever.
I knocked and a few moments later Nikkie opened the
door. She was wearing a simple white dress with tiny
pink flowers all over it and her sunlight colored hair
was tied back in a ponytail. She looked so fabulous
that for a second I was speechless.
“Hi, Andy,” she said, giving me a big sweet smile.
“Hi, Nikkie,” I said. “Are you ready for our date?”
“Sure,” Nikkie replied with a giggle. “Just hold on for
one teeny minute, okay?”
She ducked into the bathroom and I waited there in the
doorway. While I waited a very pretty brown-haired girl
with large doe eyes and a nice little body came to the
door. She looked like she was about my age.
“Hi,” she said, “I’m Maggie, Nikkie’s roommate.”
“Hi, Maggie,” I said, “I’m her brother Andy.”
“Yeah,” Maggie said, looking me over. “Her brother. The
one she ran into yesterday. She hasn’t stopped talking
about you since. But did you, um, did you say you were
taking her on a date?”
“Yes, but it’s not that kind of date.”
“Yeah, okay.” Maggie continued to scrutinize me and it
was obvious that she didn’t believe me. I didn’t know
what to do with that, so I just stood there and
scrutinized her as well. She opened her mouth to say
something more but just then Nikkie came out of the
“Ready,” she announced. She slipped her arm around
Maggie’s waist and pecked her on the cheek. “Bye, hon.
Don’t wait up for me.” She giggled again.
Maggie responded by taking Nikkie in a full embrace.
She kissed her on the lips, then held my sister’s face
in her hands and said softly, “Bye, sweetheart.” She
gave me a pointed look, making it clear that she didn’t
care for me very much, then let go of Nikkie and went
back into the living room.
“Let’s go,” Nikkie said.
We walked together down the hallway, holding hands.
“Wow,” I said. “What was that all about?”
“Oh,” Nikkie replied, “that was just Maggie being a
clown. She’s a big clown.”
I suspected there might be more to it than that but I
didn’t say anything.
I took her to a small Italian restaurant on the North
End. Sotavento’s, a dim quiet place on Pearl Street
that served the best spaghetti and meatballs in the
city. Nikkie was delighted by the place, she’d never
known it existed, and she was just as crazy about
Italian food as I was. We got a table for two in the
back, ordered our lunch, then began to get caught up on
each other’s lives.
We talked a little more about our jobs; she said she
only worked part time, for minimum wage, sitting in
front of a computer all day managing records and making
forms and typing correspondence. Nikkie talked about
her work in a bored disinterested kind of way that
seemed designed to make me bored and disinterested too,
but I wasn’t at all.
I was fascinated with her, with the idea of my
wonderful baby sister actually out there in the world,
taking care of herself. Even her nonchalance was
intriguing, and when I filled her in on the dry facts
of my own work, how I spent as many as twelve hours a
day poring over manuscripts for continuity and
mistakes, I noticed how her eyes bore into me, how she
leaned forward and smiled slightly when I talked. She
hung on my every word.
Our lunch came and we ate while we talked about life in
“I love living downtown,” Nikkie declared, “simply love
it. So different from our old neighborhood. There’s
just so much to see, and so much to do. People
everywhere. And the buildings, you know, some of them
are just so cool looking. The old buildings, the really
“Yeah, the buildings,” I said, “and the women. I don’t
know why, but downtown Darlington seems to have more
beautiful women per capita than anywhere else in the
“Maybe it’s something in the water.” Nikkie speared a
meatball with her fork and pretended to examine it. “Or
the meatballs.” She popped it into her mouth.
‘I don’t know,’ I thought to myself, ‘but whatever it
is, you’ve gotten the lion’s share.’
“So Andy,” Nikkie said, twirling pasta around her fork,
“do you have a girlfriend?”
“Not at the moment,” I said. “There’ve been a few girls
but they didn’t last.”
“What were they like?”
“They were wonderful, of course. Lovely and smart,
confident, funny, lots of fun. But they didn’t want
anything serious. The problem was they always waited
until I told them I loved them before they let me know
that. One girl even moved to San Jose after I told her
how I felt about her.”
“Oh, you poor guy,” Nikkie said.
“Love is a fucking nightmare,” I said, immediately
regretting the angry tone in my voice.
Nikkie chewed a mouthful of spaghetti, swallowed, and
said, “Sounds to me like they weren’t so smart after
all. I’d k**l for a guy who loved me. Especially a
hottie like you.”
I laughed, surprised and pleased by my sister’s
compliment. I thanked her and said, “But what are you
saying, Nik? No guy has fallen in love with you yet?”
“Nope. Not a one.”
“I find that impossible to believe. I would think you’d
have guys fighting over you night and day.”
“Well, there have been guys, and they’ve told me they
loved me, but….you know, it wasn’t my heart they
wanted to get into.” Nikkie smiled an embarrassed smile
and I realized that she didn’t resent those guys.
“You know, Nikkie,” I said, leaning forward and looking
directly into her eyes. “This is one of the reasons
I’ve always adored you. Because there’s no bitterness
in your beautiful heart.”
Nikkie’s smile widened, her face bright, her eyes
After lunch we drove back downtown. Nikkie said she
wanted to see a movie, but she didn’t want to watch
anything in the regular theatres. “Something offbeat,”
she said, which naturally pointed the way to the
bohemian theatre, which was showing a series of foreign
films that week. It was only a block away from her
apartment building, so we parked in the same spot I’d
parked in earlier and walked together down to the
corner of Fourth Street and Milton Avenue. When we got
there we found that ‘Justice Undone,’ a film from
Iceland, was only ten minutes away from starting.
We bought tickets, sodas and popcorn, and sat in the
back row just as the opening credits began to roll.
There were only about fifteen other people in the
theatre, which lent an intimate quality to the
atmosphere. ‘Justice Undone’ contributed to this, or
maybe just fell in line with it; a dark and somber
film, it told the story of a man in a small isolated
community who is put on trial for having a sexual
relationship with his sister. Something of an
embarrassing development for Nikkie and me; we hadn’t
known what the movie was about.
When the show was over we walked together up Fourth
Street to the corner coffee shop, both of us silent. I
didn’t know what Nikkie thought about the film and it’s
subject, but I knew what my impression was: I was
startled and a little sheepish, especially regarding
the scenes that were still lingering in my mind. I felt
a strong desire to talk about these things but at the
same time was reluctant to do so. Sex had never seemed
to me like an appropriate topic of conversation for
siblings. I’d decided not to say anything, but then
Nikkie brought the subject up herself.
“Well,” she said once we were seated with our coffee,
“that sure was a weird little movie.”
“Definitely offbeat,” I said.
Nikkie gave a concessive nod and smile.
“Sure was. Guess I asked for that one. Literally.” She
giggled. “But it wasn’t really a bad movie. Actually,
it was pretty good. Just….confusing. I mean, what was
the whole point? The guy got off with a light sentence,
and it seemed like the town didn’t really know what
they wanted to do. I mean, they wanted to punish him,
but then they hardly punished him at all. And what was
the point of the sister killing herself? She was the
one who started the whole thing. And what does the
title mean? Justice Undone. Which justice was undone?”
She shook her head and sipped at her coffee. “I just
don’t get it.”
“Maybe that was the point,” I said. “The confusion, the
unclear motivations, the uncertain conclusions. After
all, the brother and sister were consenting adults, so
where, really, is the crime? What they did was against
the law, but the brother was put on trial and convicted
not so much for committing incest as for offending the
sensibilities of the community. The film ultimately
left the issue unresolved because people are generally
so ambivalent about it.”
Nikkie thought about this for a minute, then said,
“Yeah, maybe. Or maybe the director just didn’t know
what he was doing.”
I laughed, but the discussion appeared to be over now
and I was disappointed; I’d hoped we could talk about
the two sex scenes, both of them very explicit, almost
pornographic, in which the brother and sister first had
intercourse and, later, the sister performed oral sex
on her brother. I could still see these scenes behind
my eyes, and I thought about them as I watched Nikkie
nurse her coffee and change the subject. My adorable
After coffee I asked Nikkie what she wanted to do next.
“Let’s go look at the bay,” she said. “The waterfront
is so beautiful at sunset.”
It was getting close to sunset, and she was right;
Friday Bay in the twilight was a remarkable visual
treat. We walked again, back down Fourth Street, past
the theatre and to the next block, turned onto Canal
Street and walked two more blocks down to the park
overlooking the bay. We strolled along the promenade,
talking about other movies we’d seen and liked. We
stopped at a concession stand that was just getting
ready to close and bought hot dogs and sodas, then sat
on a bench and ate and talked as the light faded from
“Did you ever see ‘Henry and June?'” Nikkie asked me.
“It was such a beautifully made film, and Maria
deMedeiros is just plain gorgeous.”
“I agree,” I said. I finished off my hot dog. “Fred
Ward did a good job too. Caught the character of Henry
“I like Henry Miller. He’s one of my favorite writers.
Him and Anais Nin. They seem like opposite sides of the
same coin. I like Jack Kerouac too. It’s a shame they
never made any decent movies from his books.”
“Wouldn’t it be great if they did? A quality adaptation
of ‘On The Road’ or ‘The Dharma Bums?’ Or ‘Desolation
“Yeah, Andy, if they could do it. But whoever did it
would have to be able to bring out the sadness in
Kerouac’s work without losing any of the joy. He and
Henry Miller were like that. They wrote jubilantly
about life but there was always that subtle despair
underneath it all.” Nikkie balled up her trash and
handed it to me. “Their books always make me think of
“Me?” I asked as we stood up. I tossed the trash in a
trash can as we walked out onto a fishing pier. “Why
Nikkie shrugged her pretty shoulders and said, “I
We walked out to the end of the pier and stood at the
railing. The light was almost entirely gone now and the
lights on the bay and the distant shore glittered. I
stood behind Nikkie and put my arms around her waist. I
hugged her to me and kissed her ponytail.
“I’m not sad right now,” I said.
We watched the boats on the bay for a while, then
Nikkie said, “I really like some modern writers too.
Like Larry McMurtry, and Lynne McFall. Oh, and Pat
Conroy. ‘The Prince of Tides’ just made me totally cry.
I like Sarah Schulman too.”
“I’ve heard of Sarah Schulman,” I said. I looked down
at my sister. “Isn’t she a lesbian writer?”
“Yeah. Maggie turned me on to her. She’s not as
eloquent as writers like Pat Conroy, but she’s still
very talented. Funny and gritty. She was inspired by
Jack Kerouac. In fact, the title of her novel ‘Girls
Visions and Everything’ comes from a line in ‘On The
Road.'” Nikkie looked up and saw the way I was looking
at her. She gave me a wry smile and said, “Don’t worry,
Andy, I’m not a lesbian.”
“What about Maggie?” I asked.
Nikkie looked back out at the water and said, “She
thinks she’s in love with me.”
I wasn’t surprised by this remark, though I was
intrigued by Nikkie’s tone of voice; it suggested a
mixture of affection and disappointment, conflicted
feelings. I wanted to ask her more questions but
couldn’t decide what I wanted to know.
Nikkie sighed and said, “Gee, Andy, this is all so
beautiful. I’m having such a wonderful time with you.”
I kissed her cheek and told her that I loved her. My
baby sister smiled and turned around in my arms. Our
eyes met, fell deeply into each other, and suddenly we
were kissing. Not passionately, but there was no
denying the romantic and even erotic energy in the way
our lips touched, pressed together. The kiss only
lasted a few seconds, then Nikkie looked at me and
said, “Andy. Why does the nicest guy I’ve ever met have
to be my brother?”
“I was just wondering the same thing,” I said.
We strolled back to Nikkie’s apartment building and I
assumed our time together was over, but then Nikkie
touched my shoulder and said, “Let’s go to your place.”
“Sounds good to me,” I said.
We got in my car and drove the six blocks to my
building. We went inside and I dug two beers out of the
refrigerator while Nikkie looked around. She looked
over the titles in my bookcase, and the titles of the
movies in my video collection as well. I was a little
embarrassed; there were several videos with titles like
‘Desires of the Flesh’ and ‘Living in Sin.’ She was
kind of smirking at these when I handed her a beer.
“Interesting collection of movies you’ve got here,” she
said. “‘Forbidden Angels’….’Girls Gone
Wild’….’Lesbian Cheerleaders’….” She giggled and
looked at me. “‘All That Jizz?'”
“Sorry,” I said. I went over to the stereo and turned
on an oldies station, then sat on the sofa. Nikkie
continued to look at the videos for a minute before she
“I think I’d like to see ‘Lewd Adventures,'” she said.
“Sounds lewd.” She giggled again and I apologized
again. “Sokay, big brother. I know guys are into that
kind of stuff. Everybody needs to spice up their sex
lives one way or another.” She took a big swallow of
her beer, then looked at me. “I should warn you,” she
said, holding the bottle up next to her face, “I can’t
have too many of these. I’m a ridiculously quick drunk.
No more than three, otherwise I pass out.”
“Okay,” I said, “only three beers for Nikkie.”
She smiled at me, the sweetest loveliest smile I’d ever
seen, then swallowed more beer. I drank too as ‘Sha-
Boom’ burbled out of the stereo. It wasn’t until that
song was over and another tune, ‘Shake Rattle and Roll’
came on that Nikkie spoke again.
“I had a boyfriend,” she said, “who used to watch that
stuff all the time. And he always wanted me to watch it
with him. I’m not really that much into porn, but I’d
watch. The movies, I mean. Sometimes it could be fun.
Like when he wanted to do the same stuff that the
people in the movie were doing.”
“Really,” I said, not quite sure what to do with that
information. Nikkie nodded.
“Yep. Learned how to give very memorable….well, oral
pleasure.” She smiled a little and I realized she was
blushing. “Sorry. You probably don’t want to hear about
my sordid sex life.”
“No, go right ahead, Nik. Tell me all about it.”
“Really? You want to know about all that?”
“Sure. The more sordid the better.”
My baby sister laughed and said, “Okay, but let me
finish this beer first. Much easier to confess when I’m
intoxicated.” She took a long swig, close to emptying
the bottle, and I told her to take it easy since she
was only getting two more of those. Nikkie replied,
“That’s funny. Most guys can’t wait to get me drunk,”
then she burped and laughed at herself.
I couldn’t believe it; she was already buzzed. I
wondered how many men had seen her like this, how many
had taken advantage of it. How many had waited until
she was passed out. Part of me didn’t want to know,
because I’d just end up uselessly hating those men, but
another part of me wanted very much to know. To hear
all the details.
Nikkie finished her beer and handed me the empty
bottle. I went to the kitchen and pulled another beer
out of the fridge. When I returned ‘Mack The Knife’ was
playing. I handed Nikkie her drink and sat next to her
again, closer to her this time. Nikkie twisted the cap
off and drank, and as she did I looked her over. She
was thin and shapely, with narrow hips and smallish
breasts, and long smooth legs. I found myself staring
at those legs, wanting to caress them. To caress her.
“Yeah, I know,” she said, letting her head loll against
the back of the sofa. “I’m a hottie, I can’t help it.”
I felt I should apologize for staring at her, but at
the same time I wanted to tell her that she really was
a hottie, the hottest girl I’d ever seen. I ended up
not saying anything. I finished my beer instead while
Nikkie made some serious headway on her second. ‘Mack
The Knife’ reached its garish conclusion and a string
of commercials began.
“You ever been in love?” Nikkie asked.
“Are you kidding?” I replied. “I fall in love at the
drop of a hat.”
“Really? Not me. I don’t fall in love so easily. I
mean, really in love. But when I do fall, I fall pretty
hard.” Nikkie had her beer resting on her smooth flat
belly now, and she was staring at my bookcase as she
talked. “That’s how it was with Brian. The guy with the
videos? I was totally in love with him and wanted to do
whatever he told me. I guess that’s something I’m kind
of into, you know? Being told what to do. Being
submissive. So when we were doing the whole porn video
thing, he was pretty much ordering me to do it. It
worked out for both of us, because he got to imagine he
was doing it with all those beautiful women and I got
to act out this love slave fantasy I had.”
“Love slave?” I couldn’t believe my sweet and innocent
little sister was talking like this.
“Well, it’s not like he tied me up and whipped me or
anything. But he did get to do pretty much whatever he
wanted with me. His favorite thing was oral sex, of
course. I learned how to do it just like the porn
girls, and I got very good at it. We did all kinds of
different, acrobatic positions too. And even anal sex.
Brian ruled my life. He didn’t love me but he owned
“Wow, Little Nickel,” I said, using an old pet name for
her that I’d discarded years ago, “that doesn’t sound
like you at all.”
“Yeah, I’m a big surprise,” Nikkie said, and took a
swallow of her beer. “We all have our own secret sex
fantasies, Andy. That was mine. One of them, anyway. I
“What are some of the others?”
Nikkie thought for a moment, then asked, “You ever do
“No. Have you?”
“No. But that’s one of my fantasies. Me and two guys.
Or even me and a guy and another girl, I suppose. I
also have this gang r**e fantasy, but it’s just a
fantasy. I’d never want to act on it. But I have acted
out the stranger on a train fantasy.”
“Stranger on a train?”
“Yeah, you know, in Erica Jong’s ‘Fear of Flying.’ The
fantasy of meeting a total stranger on a train and
fucking the daylights out of him. I’ve done that a few
times, though never actually on a train.”
“How many men have you been with?” I asked.
“Not really that many. I’ve had three boyfriends,
including Brian. Two or three strangers on a train. And
about five guys who just fucked me and forgot me. So I
guess that makes, what? Ten? Eleven? Twelve?” Nikkie
laughed and said, “Wow, I’m a slut.”
“How many women have you been with?”
“Guys always want to know that.”
Nikkie drained the last of her second beer and handed
it to me. I went and got her another one, and a second
one for myself. When I came back I sat close enough to
her that our thighs were touching, and I put my arm
around her shoulders. Nikkie rested her head against my
neck. On the stereo Chubby Checker started up with
‘Let’s Twist Again.’
“Okay,” my sister said, “do you mean women I’ve
actually had sex with, or do I include making out?”
“Include making out,” I said, my voice low.
“Okay…. let’s see…. there was Daphne, my best
friend in junior high, we made out once…. and
Camille, my best friend in high school, we also made
out once…. we masturbated each other…. and then
there was this girl at a party when I was in college
that one year, last year…. I was drunk and these guys
had dared her to go down on me. She did, but tell you
the truth, I was so wasted I didn’t feel a thing. And
then, of course, there’s Maggie.”
“Yeah, right, Maggie. I don’t think she likes me very
“She’s just jealous.”
“Because she’s in love with you?”
“She thinks she is,” Nikkie said. She drank more beer.
The bottle was half empty now but she didn’t seem to
have progressed very far beyond a good buzz. “She
wasn’t lying when she said I wouldn’t stop talking
about you. I was just so glad to see you again.”
“Are you two lovers?” I asked.
“I dunno. I wouldn’t say lovers. We do it every once in
a while. But Andy, it’s really just kind of a fun thing
for me. Maggie knows that, I’ve told her enough times.
She just takes it all too seriously. I mean, she’s even
stopped dating other women, which I think is just
totally uncalled for.”
I was going to ask her something else, some direct
question about what she and Maggie did together in bed,
but instead chose to imagine it. I recalled a scene
from one of my videos (‘Desires of the Flesh’) in which
a beautiful blonde girl and an equally beautiful brown-
haired girl made passionate love to each other with
lips and tongues and fingers, lots of tit-sucking and
cunt-licking. The women were lousy actresses, but
they’d been surprisingly convincing in the sex scene,
almost convincing enough to make me believe they were
I replayed that scene in my mind, substituting the
brown-haired girl with Maggie and, of course, the
blonde with Nikkie. I liked the resulting image,
especially when the lesbian scene was done and the
interloping male appeared and promptly proceeded to get
a tag team blowjob from the girls. In the video that
had pretty much ruined the lesbian scene, but in my
fantasy it only made it more pleasurable, since the guy
was now me.
“What about you?” Nikkie asked.
“What about me?” I asked. I was hoping she wasn’t going
to ask me if I’d ever been with a man.
“What’s your favorite sex fantasy?” She half squinted
at me. “I bet it has something to do with lesbians.”
“Well, you’re close,” I said. “I’d say lesbians are my
second favorite sex fantasy. I don’t think you want to
know what my favorite thing is.”
“Oh come on,” Nikkie said, nudging my shoulder with her
beer bottle. “I told you, so you tell me.”
“Okay, um, you’re probably going to think this is
gross, but…. I think about you.”
Nikkie surprised me by smiling.
“Really?” she said. “You have sex fantasies about me?”
She looked at her beer, then took another swallow.
“What do you think about me? I mean, you know, what
happens in your fantasies?”
“Well,” I said, wishing I’d gotten buzzed too, “just a
minute ago I was picturing you and Maggie together. But
I’ve also had lots of other types of fantasies about
you. You doing it with other guys, doing it with black
guys, doing it with women…. actresses, mostly….
and, um…. doing it with me.”
“Yeah? Well, I’m not surprised. After all, I’m such a
hot babe.” Nikkie giggled and drank more beer. “It’s
really not a bad thing, Andy brother. Incest fantasies
are pretty common. Everybody has them. Or most people
do, anyway. I know I’ve had them. About you, I mean.
It’s the thrill of crossing boundaries.”
Chubby Checker was done and now Elvis came on with
‘Can’t Help Falling In Love.’
“Oh, I love this song,” Nikkie said. “It’s so fucking
romantic.” She looked at me and asked, “Will you dance
with me? Come on.” She set her beer on the coffee table
and wobbled to her feet, then took my hand. I got up
and we went around to the other side of the coffee
table. I took my lovely baby sister in my arms and
hugged her to me and she rested her head against my
shoulder. We danced silently for a minute, swaying and
solemnly listening to the King’s deep silver voice:
Wise men say…. only fools rush in
But I can’t help…. falling in love with you
Shall I stay…. would it be a sin?
If I can’t help…. falling in love with you.
“You know what I think about that movie?” Nikkie asked.
“‘Justice Unknown?’ Or undressed? Or whatever? I
think there was something wrong with the town. The
director was trying to say something about society.”
“What do you think he was trying to say, Nik?”
“That there’s something wrong with society when we
won’t tolerate two people being in love. I mean, you
could argue that the brother and sister symbolized
other socially forbidden couples, like two women or two
men or interracial couples. But even if you take them
literally, there’s still something wrong with the town,
because the brother and sister are consenting adults.
They weren’t hurting anybody, they were just in love.”
Nikkie paused for a moment, then in a sad voice said,
“I think people should be allowed to love whoever they
“I agree, sweetheart,” I said. I kissed the top of her
head and she looked up at me. “Nikkie…. I have to
tell you this….”
“Go ahead,” Nikkie said, touching my cheek with her
fingertips. “Tell me.”
“I’m in love with you. I always have been. I don’t
think I’ve ever loved anyone as much as I love you.”
There, I said it.
Nikkie’s thin pretty lips curled into yet another
brilliant smile and her beautiful blue eyes glistened.
“Oh Andy, that is so sweet.” Her voice wavered a little
as she said, “I’m in love with you too.”
We’d stopped dancing, which was just as well since
Elvis was nearly done with his song. I touched Nikkie
under the chin and kissed her. She murmured a little
against my lips, then I felt her tongue sliding shyly
into my mouth. We french-kissed through most of the
next song, whatever it was. As it ended we parted lips,
and Nikkie spoke softly into my ear.
“Hey Andy,” she said, “I have another sex fantasy I’ve
always wanted to act out.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“I’ve always wanted to give you a blowjob.”
“Really. What a coincidence, Nikkie. I’ve always had
that same fantasy.” Nikkie laughed and I asked, “Do you
really want to do that?”
“Of course I do.” She kissed my neck. “Tell you what.
I’ll make you a deal. You go down on me and I’ll go
down on you.”
“Are you sure, Nikkie? I mean, you’ve had a lot to
drink, for you anyway, and I didn’t bring you here just
to take advantage of you.” I didn’t really want to say
all that, but I loved my baby sister and I wanted to be
sure we weren’t going to do anything she didn’t want to
do. I actually considered saying no, but I knew I
wasn’t going to go that far.
“Don’t be silly,” Nikkie said, her voice soft and
loving in my ear. “Why do you think I came here, Andy?
And why do you think I got tipsy? I want to do this.
I’ve wanted to suck your cock ever since I was twelve.”
She kissed my neck again. “Don’t you want to eat my
pussy, big brother?”
I couldn’t resist then. I had no desire to. I slid my
hands up her back and found the zipper on her dress,
pulled it slowly down to her waist. Nikkie let go of me
and I pulled her dress off her shoulders, let it fall
to the floor. She stepped delicately out of it and
stood now in just her tennis shoes and her white cotton
Her body was the loveliest thing I’d ever seen. She was
pale and smooth, perfectly slim, her breasts small and
round and firm, topped with tiny pink nipples. I
touched them, just with my fingertips, caressed them,
then gently cupped them in the palms of my hands.
Nikkie had her eyes locked onto mine, and she wasn’t
“What do you want me to do?” she almost whispered.
“Just tell me, Andy. I’ll do whatever you say.”
“Lay down on the floor,” I replied.
Immediately Nikkie stepped back and lowered herself
onto the carpet. She lay on her back with her legs
together and her hands joined over her belly. I knelt
beside her and removed her shoes, then slowly pulled
her panties over her narrow hips and down her long thin
legs. Her cunt too was beautiful, two full lips nestled
demurely behind a feint veil of golden cunt hair.
Nikkie let her legs fall open, proudly showing herself
to me. I quickly took my shirt off and she watched me,
idly touching herself.
I crawled on top of her and settled myself between her
legs, began kissing her. I started with her beautiful
perfect face and worked my way down, along her throat
and collarbone to her breasts. I kissed each of them,
licked them, took each of her sweet little nipples in
my mouth and sucked on them, making them hard. Nikkie
sighed, gliding her fingers over my back and shoulders.
She started to move her hips a little, gently pushing
her cunt up against my hard-on. I nibbled and sucked
her breasts for another minute, then started downward
again, moving along her smooth flat belly.
I got to her cunt hair and finally to her cunt.
Nikkie’s fingers were in my hair now as I kissed her
there and breathed deeply the delicious scent of her. I
touched her cunt lips with my tongue, licked slowly and
lovingly. My baby sister’s body tensed minutely and she
caught her breath. I licked her again, lapped at her,
then pushed my tongue inside of her.
Nikkie gasped and moaned. I could already taste her
warm juices and drank them in. I licked and sucked on
her cunt as her hands left my hair, glided up her own
body to her breasts. As I ate my sister’s cunt she
caressed herself, gently squeezing her small breasts,
pulling on her nipples. She moaned and sighed as I
continued to go down on her, cried out softly when I
found her clit and began sucking on it, cried out
again, more sharply this time, as she came. Nikkie
relaxed then, apparently thinking I was done, but I
wasn’t; I continued to lick and suck her cunt until she
came twice more, her splendid body trembling with the
force of her orgasms. Afterward she collapsed, splayed
out on the floor with her face turned to her side and
her eyes closed, her breathing heavy but controlled.
I moved back up her body, almost pinning her to the
floor, and peppered her breasts and throat and face
with kisses. At the same time I unfastened the fly on
my jeans and pulled my hard-on out. I didn’t really
think about what I was doing; I was driven by desire
and love and I wanted suddenly just to be inside of
her, so as I continued kissing her I guided my cock up
to her cunt and pushed the head past her lips. Nikkie
reacted with surprise, gasping and snapping her eyes
open, but she made no attempt to resist as I pushed my
cock into her.
“Oohh, Andy,” she breathed as she clutched my biceps,
“this wasn’t part of the deal.”
“I know, Nikkie, but I couldn’t help it. I want to fuck
you. Do you want me to stop?”
“No.” Nikkie slipped her arms around me and pulled me
down against her. “No, my love, I don’t want you to
stop. I want you to do whatever you want to me. You own
We kissed and I began fucking her, slowly sliding my
cock in and out of her cunt. She was warm and wet
inside, snug but not too snug, and I was amazed at how
good it felt to be inside of her, how right it seemed.
I’d imagined countless times that making love to my
little sister would be both hot and romantic, but even
in my best dreams I’d never been able to envision this.
Nikkie was exquisite as she moved and writhed beneath
me, matching the thrusts of her hips with the thrusts
of my cock.
I started out slow and steady, took my time with her,
wanting just to enjoy the astounding sensation of
fucking her, but wanting her to enjoy it too. We fucked
for a long time, our bodies developing a thin sheen of
sweat as we gradually increased our speed and passion.
Nikkie moaned and sighed, kissed me feverishly as she
dug her fingernails into my back. She swayed and
thrashed with me until finally, shuddering in my arms,
she came with a loud kittenish mew, her cunt pulsing
and pouring her warm come all around my cock.
This time we both collapsed on the carpeted floor,
tired and satisfied. We lay there for several minutes,
just breathing and holding each other. Occasionally we
kissed or softly murmured our love to each other. My
cock was still hard inside Nikkie’s luxurious body and
every once in a while I would move minutely, sliding it
out a little then back in, just to remind myself of how
lucky I was, not only to be inside of her but to be
with her at all.
“Andy,” Nikkie finally said, “you didn’t come.”
“I know,” I replied. “I’m saving it up for that blowjob
you promised me.”
“Good,” my sister giggled, “because I still want to do
that. And you know what? Because you were so great
going down on me and fucking me, I’m going to give you
to best blowjob you’ve ever had.” She kissed me on the
lips, then pushed gently against my chest, signaling
for me to get up.
I pulled my cock out of her cunt, then got to my feet.
I let my jeans slide down my legs, and my cock stuck
straight up in the air, hard and glistening with
“How do you want me?” she asked.
“On your knees,” I replied, trying to make it sound
like an order. I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with
that little game but I reminded myself that this was as
much her fantasy as it was mine.
Nikkie pulled herself up to her knees in front of me
and took my cock in her small delicate hand. She looked
at it for a moment, almost as if she was sizing up the
task before her, then unceremoniously took it in her
mouth. She slid her lips over the head, then down over
the shaft, taking almost the entire length in before I
felt my cock nudging at the back of her throat. Then
just as slowly she drew her mouth back, sucking on me
as she went. She did this three times, then pulled my
cock out of her mouth and kissed the head.
“I can taste my pussy on you,” she whispered, then
immediately took me back in her mouth and resumed
I touched her hair as she worked, played with her cute
little ponytail, placing my other hand on the back of
her head. Nikkie sucked and stroked me expertly,
pausing on occasion to slide her tongue up and down the
length of my cock. She kept her eyes closed and her
hand and mouth moving steadily, and I could see she had
indeed learned how to do it just like the porn girls.
She continued to go down on me as she glided one of her
hands over her small pale breasts, then down between
her legs. She rubbed herself with her fingertips,
sucking and stroking me at the same time, and before
long she was moaning again, bringing herself closer and
closer to orgasm.
I could feel my own orgasm approaching too, the
pressure building in my balls as my cock grew harder.
And just as Nikkie mewed and gasped, her mouth open now
and her tongue out, my cock throbbed and I poured come
into her mouth. It spilled all over her tongue, down to
her throat and dribbling down her chin. Nikkie
continued to stroke me as she swallowed, sucked my cock
a little more, then squeezed it, drawing out the last
few drops. She licked the head of my cock clean, then
kissed it again.
“Wow,” she said. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”
She was looking up at me and smiling, that same
wonderful smile that always seemed to be on her face in
one form or another, her lips shining with my come, and
again I felt that bittersweet combination of sadness
and surprise. This was my baby sister, my Little
Nickel, and I couldn’t see how I could ever have helped
but to fall in love with her. I got down on my knees
with her, embraced her, and kissed her cheek. Nikkie
returned my embrace, pressing her small soft breasts
against my chest. She kissed my neck, then held me,
caressing my back with her fingers.
“Andy,” she said softly, “I don’t want to go home. I
want to stay here with you.”
“I’d like that, Nikkie.”
“I don’t want to deal with Maggie anymore, or with
anybody else. Just you.”
“You don’t have to, sweetheart. You can stay here with
me for as long as you like.”
“I want to be here forever,” my sister breathed.
Later that night we made love again in my bed, then
slept. In the morning I woke to find Nikkie sucking my
cock and we fucked again. Afterward we lay in bed and
talked. We agreed that what we had was special, rare,
and too amazing to resist. We were in love, and it
didn’t matter that we were brother and sister. We
couldn’t help how we felt, we just knew that it was
right, and if the world didn’t see it that way, then
there was something terribly wrong with the world.