The Double Bluff

I ran my fingers through my hair. I felt panicked. I didn’t know what to say to her. I turned on my lamp, jumping back in pain and surprise as the light burned into my eyes. I covered them with my arm and lay back in bed.

There was another knock, a little louder.

I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I couldn’t let her leave. I waited a few seconds, before saying;


Jessica entered almost shyly, closing the door behind her. She was wearing a grey t-shirt that fell a little past her waist, barely covering her pink panties. She wasn’t wearing a bra. It was weird how good she looked in just this, so casual, so…domestic, but still so erotic.

‘Sorry I’m late.’ she said, nervously brushing her hair behind her ear.

‘Uh…late?’ I asked.

‘Yeah…I normally come over at, like, midnight…and I tried, but Rose kept wanting to talk about…just…stupid stuff…’

She trailed off, even more nervous. She wasn’t looking at me. I closed my eyes and rubbed them with my finger and thumb. I’d just woken up and it was hard to focus, and my eyes were still stinging. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten about tonight. I was completely off guard, and the silence was stretching. I had to say something to her.

‘Come here, Jessica.’ I said.

Her mouth twitched up in a little half-smile, and she reached down to pull up her top.

‘No, no.’ I said, ‘Leave it on.’

I didn’t need any more distraction.

She paused for a second before dropping her arms. She walked quickly across the room, kneeling at her usual spot beside my bed. She glanced at my crotch briefly before meeting my eye.

She seemed a little excited now. It felt like she was waiting to be told to do something, waiting for an instruction.

‘Don’t…don’t undress until I tell you to, in future. Ok?’ I said.

She nodded a little uncertainly.

Why had I said it like a question?

Impulsively I reached out and pushed her hair back, sliding my fingers back across her head, before bringing my hand down to lightly cup her chin. She was staring at me with wide eyes. She seemed unsure of what to do or say, which was exactly how I felt too.

I brought my hand back to my side and sat up more in bed, moving around under the covers to get comfortable. I looked away from her again, staring straight ahead. I needed to focus, to get my thoughts in order.

I needed to know what she was thinking.

‘I didn’t see you last Friday.’ I said.

‘Oh, yeah…on Thursday after we…um…I couldn’t get out of bed.’ she said.

I glanced at her, and she was smiling.

‘Oh?’ I said.

‘Yeah, I…I hurt so bad I could barely walk to the bathroom.’ she said, ‘I told my parents I was sick so I didn’t have to try and get around school all day.’

She seemed to enjoy telling me this. I could hear a hint of pride in her voice.

‘And Saturday?’ I asked.

She shook her head and her smile grew.

‘I still couldn’t move properly…It…it feels better now though.’ she said, wriggling her hips slightly.

I turned away from her again and closed my eyes. Regardless of how I felt about her normally, in the daylight hours, this was what I knew I wanted from her. Hearing her almost whisper to me that her pussy hurt so bad from my cock that she couldn’t walk, her soft voice tinged with lust and admiration. It felt so deeply satisfying, so indescribably good.

I enjoyed the feeling for a few seconds before turning back to her.

‘Why didn’t you tell them the truth?’ I asked. ‘Didn’t you want them to know…that I fucked you so hard you couldn’t walk straight?’

She smiled a little, and looked away. I could almost feel the growing excitement in her breathing, in her voice.

‘I…I didn’t, I mean I don’t…know if I’m allowed to?’ she said, turning to face me again.

She knew I wasn’t serious, but the tone in her voice was clear. She was trying to ask about us, about our relationship.

‘Good.’ I said.

She smiled wider, but still had an air of expectancy.

‘You’re not allowed to tell anyone about this, do you understand?’ I said.

She nodded.

‘If anyone finds out about what the two of us have been doing…it stops.’ I said.

Her face fell, and she nodded more slowly.

‘I won’t tell anyone…I promise.’ she said.

I wasn’t sure why my first instinct was to keep it a secret. I guess my feelings towards Jessica were complicated enough without throwing them into the public forum. Plus I didn’t think Rose would exactly approve.

But it seemed like she still had some questions. She looked a little disappointed, but it still seemed like she was waiting for something. Why did I even care so much about what she was thinking, and feeling? Wasn’t it enough that she was here?

‘Jessica, are you…happy? With what we’ve been doing?’ I asked.

‘Yes.’ she said quickly.

I fought back a smile. She was so certain, her answer coming with no hesitation. I reached over to her and began to stroke her hair again, and she leaned into my hand.

‘Being touched by me…’ I said, slowly curling my fingers around her hair.

She closed her eyes and sighed a little.

‘Being hurt by me…’ I said, pulling hard.

She inhaled sharply and her voice came out in an even softer whimper.

‘…do you like it?’ I asked.

‘Yes…yes…’ she gasped.

‘Does it make you happy?’ I asked, pulling a little harder and twisting.

She was breathing heavily now, each breath a quick, sharp, sigh.

‘Yessss….’ she whispered.

I let go.

‘Ok.’ I said. ‘You can leave.’

Whatever we were doing, wherever this was going to go, it couldn’t happen tonight. I had no real plan, I was exhausted from sleep deprivation. And most importantly, I still wasn’t sure about my own feelings.

I expected her to stand up and go, but she hesitated, turning her head a little to the side and avoiding my eyes. At first I felt the anger swell up in me at her disobedience, but I quickly realised that I hadn’t actually told her to leave, I’d just said that she could. I normally just said ‘Get out.’, and I wasn’t sure why I’d been more polite this time. I made a note to be more direct when I spoke to her. If I wanted her to do something, I had to to make sure I told her.

But my own reaction surprised me. I was already so used to her obeying me that it infuriated me when she even hesitated. I’d have to watch out for that. I could be angry with her, but I couldn’t lose my temper.

‘I…’ she started, interrupting my thoughts.

‘What? Did you want something?’ I asked.

‘I don’t know…’ she said slowly.

‘Tell me what you want, Jessica.’ I said, trying to put a firm tone to my voice.

She met my eye slowly, shyly. She bit her lower lip.

I reached out and held her chin. I realised that I really liked holding her like this, by the chin or jaw. It felt…possessive, somehow. Even without gripping tightly or hurting her, I was holding her in place, and she wouldn’t look away from me.

‘I…I want you to…to have sex with me.’ she said slowly.

‘No. Not tonight.’ I said.

She whimpered quietly and her body squirmed. She looked disappointed, but still hopeful.

‘Tell me what you want, slut.’ I said.

‘Can I suck your…cock, please?’ she said.

She’d accepted my refusal and asked for something else, without argument. She sounded so mournful, so pleading.

‘No.’ I said.

She let out a little whine as she stared at me with those wide, green eyes. I ran my fingers across her cheek and slid them behind her ear, putting my thumb gently against her lips. She parted them and took my thumb into her mouth, biting down gently and licking it lightly with just the tip of her tongue.

‘Tell me what you want.’ I repeated, pulling my hand away.

I…’, she said, ‘…I…’.

She seemed afraid to ask, afraid of another rejection.

‘Will you kiss me? Please?’ she said.

I smiled. She had to beg for even this.

I took her chin again and leaned forward, bringing my lips to hers. Just like the first time we kissed, I started gently, taking her lower lip between mine, but then biting down hard. She moaned loudly, surprising me, and brought her hands up to my face. She pushed her tongue into my mouth and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. I’d never kissed anyone other than her so I didn’t have any experience, but I tried some things I’d read about, moving my tongue slowly in circles in her mouth. She responded by moaning louder and pushing against me.

I moved back and she climbed into bed with me, sliding under the covers. I held her body against mine. I could feel the passion, the need in her body, in her clutching fingers on my shoulders and back.

We kissed for minutes before I pulled away from her. She licked her lips, which were red around the edges, and she was breathing heavily with a bright smile on her face. She ran her eyes down my face and body, studying me, before meeting my eyes again. Our legs were overlapping and she pushed her crotch back against my raised thigh. She ground her panties against me, biting her lip as a long, low moan escaped her throat. Her nipples were pressing hard against her t-shirt.

I laughed gently, even as I felt my cock stiffen. I loved seeing her like this, so needy. So deliciously desperate.

‘Will you fuck me?’ she whispered.

‘No, Jessica. Not tonight.’ I said firmly.

She bit her lip and leaned close to me, whispering right in my ear.

‘Please, please, I’m so wet. I can’t stop thinking about you. About your cock. Please fuck me…’ she said quickly.

My dick was completely hard, but I couldn’t do this tonight. I was too tired, too confused. I needed time to think. I grabbed her hair and pulled her away from me. She gasped with pain and looked up at me from where I held her.

‘I love you.’ she whispered, staring into my eyes.

‘Get out.’ I said, releasing her.

The look on her face, the hurt, the devastation, it was almost…painfullybeautiful.

For some reason it reminded me of the first time I ever got drunk.

Rose and I were maybe 15 at the time, and it was at some party of a family friend. Come to think of it, Jessica and her family had been there too. We’d each been given half a glass of red wine, just to try it. Jessica and Rose drank theirs in one swallow, shuddering and laughing at the taste that disgusted them.

I’d sipped mine slowly, screwing up my face in displeasure each time. When I finished I sneaked off and found a full, unattended glass and continued. It disgusted me too at first, but I wanted to learn to appreciate the taste like the adults did, talking about the scents and flavours they could make out. After my second glass, it didn’t disgust me quite as much, but I still didn’t like it. So I found a third.

It was just like now, with her devastated expression. The pain in her eyes, and in her voice, brought a bitter feeling with it, as seeing the pain of another human should. But there was a sweetness to it. A deep, satisfying taste that felt almost addictive. There was something about her completely dejected, submissive attitude that moved me, that spoke to some deep-seated desire to see her suffer.

I let the sensation of her sorrow wash over me, savouring it, as I had with the wine that night.

Of course, I felt the effects of the alcohol pretty strongly at the time. The heady rush, the blurry vision, but it had felt good. And the morning after my little wine tasting experiment, I’d felt worse than I could ever remember feeling. My first hangover.

I buried the twinges of shame I was feeling, along with my thoughts of the past, and tried to just enjoy the moment.

But it didn’t last long.

She left quickly, without argument, and without looking back.


I woke later than normal the next morning, almost at noon. I got showered and dressed, and wandered downstairs to find Rose and Jessica in the kitchen. I smiled as I remembered how terrified I would have been to try to come in here, only a few weeks ago. Things had really changed fast.

Jessica was sitting on one of the stools beside the counter, and was watching the TV at the other end of the room. We usually watched the TV in here while we ate breakfast. It was a little smaller, but it got all the same channels as the one in the living room.

Rose was looking around in the cupboards. I walked in and took the stool beside Jessica. She looked up and smiled when she noticed me, and my heart jumped in my chest. I internally chastised myself. She shouldn’t be able to affect me this much with just a smile.

‘Morning.’ I said.

‘Hi.’ said Jessica.

‘Oh, hey.’ said Rose distractedly.

Rose seemed to give up her search and stood back with her hands on her hips, thinking.

‘I’m going out for groceries.’ she said suddenly.

‘Oh, is there nothing to eat?’ I asked.

‘Nope, and we’ve got the house to ourselves today.’ she said.

She seemed a little off, for some reason. She was speaking quickly, and impatiently.

‘Really, all day?’ I asked.

It was unusual for our parents to go anywhere on a Saturday, at least not without letting us know beforehand.

‘Yep.’ she said distractedly.

I shrugged and turned back to the TV. She was definitely being weird.

‘So yeah,’ she continued, ‘I’m going to head out. Might as well take the car and get a big shop done, I’ll probably be gone a few hours.’

‘Uh, Ok?’ I said. ‘Do you want us to-‘

‘No!’ she said suddenly, ‘No, I’m fine on my own. I’ll…I’ll see you guys later.’

She walked quickly out to the hallway to grab her coat, and was gone a second later.

Something was up.

‘What was that about?’ I asked.

‘What do you mean?’ Jessica asked.

I got up to walk to the fridge. Inside I found that, while we weren’t spoiled for choice, there were a few things in here the three of us could eat.

‘Ok seriously, why did Rose just run out of here saying she wouldn’t be back for hours?’ I asked.

Jessica looked away guiltily.

‘Uh…something kind of happened…this morning…’ she said slowly.

‘What kind of something?’ I asked, sitting back down beside her.

‘Look,’ she said turning to me, her face serious,’This is mostly…it’s your fucking fault, Ok?’

My heart froze in my chest. Rose was acting awkward, and had just left the two of us alone. Did she know something about us?

‘Jessica, what happened.’ I said.

‘I…I kind of…’ she stuttered.

‘What?’ I said.

‘I kind of…molested her.’ she said, looking away guiltily.

‘You…what?’ I said.

She took a deep breath.

‘Ok, so, last night after I left your room, I was really horny. Like, insanely horny. I had to sit in the bathroom for ten minutes just so I could put clean panties on without soaking through them.’ she said quickly.

My heart leapt a little at how quickly and casually she told me this incredibly sexual thing, like it was no big deal. And it was interesting to hear that she’d been keeping fresh clothes in the bathroom. It explained why she could keep coming over in those revealing outfits all the time.

‘So I got back into bed with Rose, and it was fine. She was asleep like always, and she’s such a deep sleeper that she never even noticed I was gone. But…I had a dream about…well, I don’t remember. But it was…intense…’ she said.

Her voice was beginning to get a little breathier, a little more erotic.

‘So…I woke up and…I was kind of…groping her.’ she admitted quietly.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked.

‘I was like, grabbing her boob and…and rubbing myself against her leg…’ she said.

‘Shit.’ I said.

I started laughing.

‘Shit, really?’ I laughed, ‘What’d she do?’

‘It’s not funny!’ she said, but she was fighting a smile. ‘She woke up a second after I did, and she was like, ‘What are you doing?’ and I just…told her I was having, like, a sexy dream and…’

I was laughing even harder now, and she couldn’t help but join in.

‘God, shut up!’ she laughed. ‘It’s your fault, and now she’s being all weird.’

She sat back and covered her face with her hands.

‘It’ll be fine.’ she continued, after a few seconds, ‘She’s just avoiding me. It’ll be weird for like a day, and then she’ll get over it.’

I sighed with laughter.

We were silent for a few minutes as we watched TV. I thought about Jessica going back over to Rose’s bed every time we were together. Was it really possible that Rose hadn’t noticed yet? I figured that Jessica would know better than I did, and I trusted her to keep our relationship secret. I really doubted she’d lie to me. Although…maybe it would be better if I specifically told her not to lie to me. Was that necessary?

But there were more important things to think about. Despite my better instincts, I really regretted sending her away last night. We were completely alone in the house, and I wanted to make the best of it.

Neither of us had spoken for maybe 20 minutes, but it didn’t feel awkward. There was a silence, but it wasn’t a heavy one that needed to be filled. It was just comfortable.

I turned to her.

‘So…you were turned on this morning?’ I asked.

She looked at me, her natural, neutral expression quickly giving way to nervousness. There was a definite shift in the atmosphere. It was like she’d just realised we were alone, and what that usually meant.

‘Uh…yeah. I was like, really horny.’ she said.

‘Are you still?’ I asked, standing up.

She stood up too, and I took a step towards her. She nodded, biting her lip.

‘Really?’ I said, reaching forwards.

I undid the button of her jeans, pulled the zip down, and slid my hand down to her panties. I rubbed my finger across her crotch, and found that she was starting to get wet.

‘Hmm, yeah, you are horny.’ I said, teasingly.

With my other hand I pulled down her jeans, with just a little tug they fell to the ground. She gasped and leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

She was wearing a pair of pale blue panties, and her arousal was obvious. I reached around and grabbed her ass with both hands. She moaned as I massaged her. I leaned down and kissed her lightly, and she returned it like she always did, passionately forcing her tongue into my mouth.

I pulled away from her.

‘Can…can we…?’ she muttered.

‘What?’ I asked, letting go of her.

‘Nothing, it doesn’t matter.’ she said quickly, avoiding my eyes.

‘Jessica, look at me.’ I said.

She looked so shy, and vulnerable, standing with her jeans around her ankles. I slipped my arm around her and grabbed her ass again.

‘Jessica…tell me what you want.’ I said.

‘It’s just…we didn’t do anything last night…and we’re alone…’ she said.

I didn’t reply.

‘Can we…go up to your bedroom?’ she asked quietly, looking into my eyes.

I smiled.

‘Now why wouldn’t you want to ask me that?’ I said.

‘I don’t know…just, last night, when I was telling you stuff…I didn’t want to make you mad…’ she said quickly, nervously.

I released my tight grip on her ass, and started to gently massage it instead.

‘Jessica,’ I said, taking her chin with my other hand, ‘You don’t ever have to hide what you want. Not from me.’

She smiled such a sweet smile and threw her arms around me, hugging me tight.

‘I love you. So much.’ she said.

I let go of her ass and wrapped my arms around her too. I still didn’t know how to react to things like this, to her expressions of romantic feelings. Did I return them, tell her I might like her that way too? Did I punish her, like I had the first time when it had taken me by surprise? Did I ignore them altogether, and hope she’d just stop bringing it up?
My feelings for her aside, I still didn’t know how I felt about her being ‘in love’ with me. On the one hand, it was great. It was so satisfying to know the girl I’d hated for years had fallen for me so quickly, and apparently so hard. But at the same time, it really felt like she didn’t know me well enough to feel that way about me. She knew hardly anything about who I was, apart from the shallow things we talked about with Rose.

After a few seconds of thinking I just leaned down to her and said,

‘Good girl.’

Until I could figure this out, I’d just have to accept it.

I pushed her away from me.

‘Now let’s go upstairs.’ I said.

She giggled, stepped out of her jeans, and walked quickly out to the hall.

I shook my head a little, smiling, and picked up her jeans. When I got up to my room she was already bouncing excitedly on the bed, my blankets thrown to the floor.

‘Can I take these off?’ she asked.

She was still wearing her t-shirt and panties. I’d forgotten I’d told her not to undress without my permission. It was just an off-hand comment, I was glad to see she took it seriously.

‘Yeah. Strip.’ I said.

I knelt on the bed as she quickly pulled off her panties, throwing them to the floor. As I lay down, she slid off her t-shirt and bra, freeing those beautiful boobs. She lay over me, naked, and leaned in towards me. I took her by the chin and kissed her. She moaned as I bit her lip, and desperately pushed her tongue into my mouth. Her hands moved up to caress my face, before sliding into my hair.

When I tried to pull away, she leaned in to me, stopping our lips from breaking. She was so passionate that I had to push her away.

She bit her lip and looked at me with a expression of such lust that I felt my dick twitch at just the sight of it. I started taking off my t-shirt, and she jumped backwards excitedly to undo the belt on my jeans. I let her finish pulling my jeans and boxers completely off, and she giggled when my semi-erect cock bounced into the air. She leaned over and put her hands on my thighs, staring at my stiffening cock lying against my leg, but not moving to touch it. She looked into my eyes, as if waiting for me to give her permission.

I grabbed it by the base and pointed it towards her, lightly tapping it against her cheek.

‘Do you want my cock in your mouth?’ I asked.

My voice came out a lot softer than I intended. What I’d meant to be rough and insulting had come out like a gentle query.

She nodded silently, her cheek rubbing against my cock.

‘Suck me.’ I said, trying to make my voice firmer.

She let out a throaty moan of excitement as she grabbed my dick and quickly started to lick and suck the tip. As usual, I was turned on almost as much by her attitude towards sucking me as I was by the actual sensation.

After only a minute, I was rock hard in her hands. She was doing more than I told her and started slowly fitting more and more of my shaft into her mouth. It felt incredible, but I gently pushed her off me. I sat up, and she quickly moved to lie down. She lay in the middle of the bed with her legs spread wide.

I lay over her, letting my hard cock rest against her pussy lips. She reached down to my crotch with both hands, her arms pressing against her boobs on either side, squeezing them together. Her slender fingers wrapped around my cock and she started trying to move it in line with her pussy. I let her continue, and she brought the head up to her wet lips.

‘Push, push it…please…push it in…’ she whispered frantically.

‘You want this inside you, slut?’ I asked.

She met my eye.

‘I want you to fuck me.’ she said, a light waver to her voice, ‘I want it to hurt.’

‘Beg for it.’ I said.

She didn’t hesitate for a second.

‘Please, please fuck me, please-‘

I started pushing into her, and she cut off her words with a loud moan.

I slowly pushed in to about half my length, before inching back out. I’d actually forgotten how good her tight, wet pussy felt around my cock. As I started to push back in, a low growl escaped her.

‘Oh my God, you’re so fucking big!’ she moaned, as I filled her again.

‘Is this what you wanted? Does it hurt?’ I asked.

She nodded quickly, closing her eyes tight.

‘It hurts…don’t stop…’ she whimpered.

I kept this slow pace until it felt it was getting easier. She was so tight, I knew the pain would be too intense for a lot of other girls. I was reminded of a forum post about a woman whose boyfriend was so hung that they could only ever go at this kind of slow speed without it hurting her, and he’d never been able to fit it all inside her. They later broke up because of it.

I gritted my teeth and pushed in again, thinking how lucky I was to have found a girl who actually liked the pain, and could take me to the base.

She began to pinch and pull her nipples as I increased my pace. The first time we’d done this, I was so consumed with anger that I hadn’t really paid attention to what was happening. I was able to appreciate the things I’d noticed the first time. The sound her wet pussy made as my cock drove in and out of it, the way her moaning voice jumped in pitch a little each time I filled her. She looked down to see our bodies joined, and started to bite her bottom lip.

‘Can you…can you go faster?’ she gasped, meeting my eyes again.

I couldn’t believe she wanted even more of this punishment. I stayed at the same speed, using long, slow strokes to fill her each time. Her pussy was so incredibly hot.

‘Please…’ she begged, ‘Please, go faster, fuck me…fuck me hard…oh God…please…’

After a few minutes of gasping and pleading, I did as she asked and sped up, thrusting hard into her.

‘Yesss…’ she moaned as she threw her head back, ‘Fuck yes! Oh my God!’

I kept increasing my speed, slamming my full length into her over and over. I dug my fingers hard into her hips, while she reached behind her and grabbed on to the metal bars of my headboard. Her arms were spread wide, and I could see them straining as she pulled against it. I lost myself in the rhythm of fucking her hard, our bodies and the bed shaking, my hips burning. Her voice kept jumping and yelping, and she let out little streams of obscenities every now and again.

‘Jesus…fuck! Fuck that feels so good…’

The pleasure was intense, and I soon knew I wouldn’t be able to hold it. I was panting, but I pushed even harder, moving as fast as I could.

Jessica’s eyes suddenly shot open.

‘Oh God, I’m…!’ she gasped, ‘Oh God! I’m so close…!’

Her whole body tensed up, and I could feel her pussy pulsing around my cock as her orgasm hit her. She let out a long, shuddering wail as her arms wrapped around her, her fingers and hands shaking.

I didn’t slow down, her pussy felt too incredible for me to want the lessen the sensation at all. I released my grip on her hips and brought my hands up to her head. With one hand I reached behind and pulled a handful of her hair, causing her to gasp with pain. I slid the fingers of my right hand around her throat, gripping only slightly, and tried to fuck her even harder.

She looked at me with those beautiful green eyes, her face a picture of lust and desire.

‘I…’ she squeaked, unable to get a breath. ‘Oh fuck!’

I tightened my grip with both hands and let out long, sharp sigh. As her powerful orgasm racked her body, I felt my own approaching. I let go of her throat and tangled both hands in her hair, pulling and gripping with the pace of my hips, as her soft voice whimpered ‘Oh God, Oh God…’ in my ear. I felt the pleasure overwhelm me. I slammed my cock into her one last time, and held it there as I came. I felt her legs wrap around me, holding my shaking hips in place as I filled her pussy with my sperm.

I didn’t move a muscle as my own orgasm passed. She was still staring into my eyes, breath heavy and face flushed. For a few seconds neither of us moved. She was still nibbling on her lower lip, and she smiled. She had such a sweet smile, I realised. All the years I’d known her I’d only ever seen her usual arrogant smirk. It was only since we’d gotten to know each other like this that I’d started seeing a real, genuine smile from her.

I looked away, and her legs relaxed around me as I pulled out of her. I slowly lay down beside her, and focused on getting my breath back. She surprised me by rolling over on to me, and wrapping her arms tight around me. She kissed me a few times on the cheek before resting her head on my shoulder. There was something about all of this that was somehow…unsettling. I considered pushing her off, but I didn’t know if I wanted to. I sighed again, and closed my eyes.

For a few minutes the only sound was our heavy breathing, but I soon felt her stirring. She slowly sat up and looked at my soft cock, reaching out and taking it in her fingers. She wrapped her hand around the base, and about half of the shaft was left uncovered. Just at her touch, I could feel it start to stiffen again.

She looked up at me with a smug little smirk as she felt it grow in her hand. I felt my face fall in confusion, and frustration, before I f****d myself to look neutral again. Why was I so disappointed that her smile had changed?

‘You can get hard again, can’t you?’ she said.

I didn’t answer.

‘Not like with…with Mike. With Mike, after one shot he’d be completely spent. Usually fall straight to sleep.’ she said.

Mike. The guy she had left to be with me, even though I hadn’t told her to. This was the first time she’d mentioned his name to me. Before it had just been ‘my boyfriend’, and then, ‘my ex.’

‘Not like it mattered.’ she laughed, ‘It was just two minutes of unpleasant friction for me. I didn’t even know how bad he was in bed until you showed me.’

My cock was still growing, and she’d started to slide her hand along the shaft, still wet and sticky from her pussy. What did it mean that she used his name now, that she was bringing him up at all? Did it mean she was over him? That she didn’t feel any more guilt about being with me? Or maybe she was trying to manipulate me, somehow. Using his name to make me feel like I had to prove myself better than him.

‘Whatever I did with him. That wasn’t sex.’ she said, her voice taking a hard edge, ‘This is sex.’

She seemed so submissive before, but I knew from a lifetime of experience what a manipulative bitch she really was. Could that really just go away? There was something there, a gleam in her eye, the way she smiled, that told me that it hadn’t.

‘And you can get hard again, can’t you?’ she asked, moving her hand faster ‘You can still pound this thing into me until I scream. You can fuck me again.’

My eyes wandered down her body. I could fuck her again. And despite my conflicted feelings about her, I wanted to.

‘Get me hard, slut.’ I said.

She smiled, and lowered her head to my cock. She licked all the way along the side of the shaft, and wrinkled her nose a little.

‘So that’s what I taste like?’ she wondered aloud.

I realised that I didn’t know what she tasted like. She licked every inch of my cock, as if trying to clean the taste of her pussy from me. It didn’t take long for me to get rock hard again as she sucked it into her mouth.

She pulled back and wrapped one hand around the base, then the other above it. Even with both hands, there was almost a third of my cock still uncovered.

‘I seriously love this thing.’ she said, voice tinged with excitement.

She moved up my body until she was straddling my legs, my cock standing upright against her stomach. She pushed it against her, and it covered her belly button.

‘I still can’t believe it fits.’ she said, ‘Although, it’s not like it’s easy.’

I sat up, and pushed her backwards. She fell back onto the bed and stretched out her legs.

‘Fuck me.’ she said, her voice hard.

She moaned with delight as I pushed into her again. Her pussy still felt so tight, despite how I’d stretched it already. I settled into a fast rhythm, as Jessica growled and hummed beneath me. This is why everyone is so obsessed with sex, I thought. This sensation is so unbelievably satisfying, this is why ‘sex sells’, this is why men act like players and women act like sluts. Who wouldn’t want to be doing this every second of every day, if they could?

Soon she was cumming again, her eyes tightly shut and voice shaking. I didn’t slow down. I regretted every single gym class that I didn’t work as hard as I could, because I could feel my stamina waning already. My dick felt like it could be hard for days, but my body was exhausted.

I tried to occupy myself with the physical action of sex, the rhythm of my hips, the pleasure it gave me. Anything but how it hurt to breath.

Eventually I had to slow down, and start using long, slow strokes, until I could get my breath back. Jessica certainly didn’t seem to mind. I looked along her beautiful body, and as soon as I looked at her closed eyes, they opened. She bit her lip hard, and smiled. I felt her raise her legs and wrap them loosely around my hips. She started to move her body back and forth, meeting me as I bottomed out. It was a little awkward at first, but soon she was matching my rhythm.

As good as it all felt, I realised I was still waiting for something. Something about this wasn’t…quite right. My mind drifted to the first time we’d done this. That had been way more intense, hadn’t it?

I pushed my thoughts away again as I increased my pace, and continued pounding into her. I focused on the way her body shivered with pleasure, and the way she bit her lip when she started to cum again, crying out with wordless joy. I focused on her wide, green eyes that seemed to never leave mine. Everything about this was incredible, and exciting. But it still wasn’t quite perfect.

Soon I could feel my own orgasm approaching. I had no idea how long this had lasted, only that it was much longer than the first time, and that I was completely exhausted. I didn’t try to hold back my orgasm, but just let it overwhelm me.

It hit me hard, and I felt all the breath leave my body as I continued to pump into her. Her pussy was still gripping my cock tightly, pulsing with her own pleasure. Eventually I slowed to a stop, and tried to just enjoy the sensation of being inside her.

She was still staring into my eyes.

I rested back on my knees, my cock slowly softening, and tried to get my breath back. That had been…great, hadn’t it? I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. Was that really it?

I sat back on the bed and crossed my legs. Looking around me, I realised I’d have to change the sheets. There was evidence of our activity all over my bed, and looking at her I noticed that more of my cum was dribbling out of her pussy.

Jessica suddenly giggled lightly, and sat up.

‘That was…that was intense.’ she said, smiling, ‘Fuck! My legs are still shaking.’

She got to her knees and leaned over to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. She looked so happy. She was so beautiful.

‘Looks like I’m going to need another shower now, too.’ she said softly, looking down at her body. ‘Maybe you could join me.’ she purred.

She leaned in to kiss me, but I brought my hand to her shoulder and turned my head away as she got close.

I didn’t want this.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, her voice edged with fear.

‘Nothing.’ I said.

I tried to pull her arms away from me.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked again, panicked. She held me a little tighter, resisting me. ‘Did I do something? What is it?’

‘Get off me!’ I said, more angrily than I felt.

She slowly pulled away from me, resting back on her knees. She looked terrified.

‘Just…just go get cleaned up. I’ll use the shower downstairs.’ I said.

I turned away from her. She got up, gathered her clothes, and left closing the door behind her. I sighed loudly and ran my hands through my hair again, pulling on it slightly and growling with frustration.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I got up and got dressed again. Sighing, I stripped my bed, gathered an armful of laundry, and headed downstairs.

My sister and I had been doing our own laundry for years now. Our parents were big on independence, and they always encouraged us to look after ourselves. We both knew how to drive, and could perform basic car maintenance. We could both cook too, more than just with a microwave.

I’d sometimes found it a little annoying, but it was fair, and I saw it as a blessing now as I headed downstairs and packed my laundry into the washer. I could get all this stuff cleaned up right now without raising any questions. I headed back upstairs and put clean sheets on the bed, grabbing a change of underwear before heading down again to use my parents bathroom. I didn’t need clean clothes, but it felt weird putting used underwear back on even though I’d only been wearing them for like 20 minutes before Jessica pulled them off me.

I got in the shower and let the hot water wash over me, soothing my well exercised muscles. I kept thinking about what just happened, as I washed the smell of sex and sweat from me. Something was wrong. I’d just had sex with a beautiful woman. Great sex, too. But as good as it felt, it had been so weirdly unsatisfying.

I thought about the first time we were together. Her pleading. Her tears. Her pain.

I felt a hollow pit in my stomach as I thought about what was missing. It was so obvious.

I’d somehow convinced myself that all the stuff I’d been doing to her; the hair pulling, and lip-biting, the insults and commands, that it was all for her. To hurther. To make her suffer.

I felt my slightly aching cock stiffen yet again as I remembered how she looked only the night before, begging me to touch her, the sorrow on her face when I rejected her. I’d never considered myself a sadist, but I had to admit to myself how good it felt.

Despite the heat of the water, my spine shivered as the cold realisation hit me; I wanted to hurt her as much as she wanted to be hurt.

I laughed a little, and felt my spirits rise. Of course I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to dominate her, to own her. For some reason I’d been avoiding the idea, but there it was. What we had just done was fun, sure. It was every straight man’s dream to be with a woman as hot as Jessica. But it wasn’t enough for me.

I thought of the first night I’d made her orgasm, when she seemed so desperate for us to go further, but it just hadn’t feel right to me. Just like on that night, I knew that I needed more than this. More than a just a little hair-pulling and lip-biting.

It was fun, but it wasn’t nearly enough.

I didn’t know exactly where I wanted this to go next, but I knew it couldn’t be rushed. I spent a long time in there, thinking and planning, before I got dried off, dressed, and headed out.

Jessica was already in the kitchen, and something smelled incredible. I sat down, and was surprised when she put a plate down in front of me. I looked up to see a wide, sincere smile on her face, before she turned back to the counter.

She’d made French toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon, and she quickly returned to put a glass of orange juice in front of me, again shooting me that smile.

I had no idea how to react to this.

Dumbfounded, I took a sip of juice and watched her clean up, putting the food away and rinsing the pan she’d used. I looked back down at my food, disbelieving. On a long list of impossible things, I’d always thought it would be a safe bet that Jessica making me post-sex breakfast would be pretty close to the top.

I turned to glance at the clock, seeing that it was almost 2 pm.

‘I know it’s a little late for breakfast.’ she said, watching me.

I snapped my head around quickly. She was standing a little uncertainly by the counter, a cup of coffee in her hand.
‘But…’ she continued, ‘But you didn’t eat anything when you got up, and…I thought…’

Her voice started to falter, and she got quieter after each word.

‘Thought…you might…want something…’ she finished, dropping her gaze.

I watched her for maybe 10 seconds, just trying to wrap my head around this. It made sense, really, didn’t it? She’d said she loved me. Something like this would be normal for a couple. But I was still thinking of this as just a sexual thing. We could act friendly at other times, but it was the sex that mattered. Cooking for me was just too weirdly domestic.

She eventually met my eye again, glancing occasionally at the food. She opened her mouth to speak, then looked away again.

She seemed to have been really affected by my attitude earlier. Even when I’d been angry with her in the past, she hadn’t reacted like this. It was like she was walking on eggshells, afraid to even look at me, her body language only hinting at unsaid apologies and questions. She’d probably thought she’d upset me somehow, and was just making sure I wasn’t pissed enough to send her away without sex the next time she came to my room, like I had last night.

She walked around me to the stool on the other end of the counter, closer to the TV. There was something weird about how she was walking.

‘You’re limping.’ I said, before realising what it meant.

‘Yeah, well…who’s fault is that?’ she replied as she sat down. There was humour in her voice, but she sounded so nervous.

I looked back at the food. My stomach suddenly started churning, and I realised I hadn’t eaten since last night’s dinner. I sighed and picked up the knife and fork she’d given me. If she wanted to cook for me then I guess there was no harm in letting her, whatever her reasons were.

As I raised the first fork to my mouth, I glanced at her. She was just gazing at me, excitement clear on her face. She seemed to realise that she was staring, and quickly turned to face the TV.

I slowly took my first bite and let the familiar, yet strangely intense flavour wash over me. The food tasted incredible, but I put that down to my own hunger. I mean, how much can you really do with a breakfast this simple? I f****d myself to eat slowly. As much as I wanted to wolf the whole thing down, it seemed a little embarrassing to do it in front of her.

Too soon, I was finished. A small sigh of contentment slipped out of me, and I realised that Jessica had turned to face me again. She looked so happy, so adoring, that it was honestly starting to scare me. There was a beat of silence before she jumped up and swept the plate and glass off the table, and brought them to the sink. She quickly rinsed them and put them in the dish washer before taking her seat beside me.

She was still staring at me.

‘Thanks, Jessica. That was…great.’ I said.

Her smile became impossibly more joyful, and she stood up. She made the smallest of movements towards me, but stopped herself from taking a step. I sighed, stood up, and pulled her into a gentle kiss. She leaned into me, but after only a second her body jumped in surprise as we heard the front door open. She pulled away quickly, but I unthinkingly tightened my arms around her.

Impulsively, I kissed her again, this time biting hard on her lower lip, while grabbing her ass with both hands. She whimpered into my mouth but didn’t move.

‘You guys?’ Rose shouted from the hall, ‘Little help?’

I held Jessica tighter as I felt her pull from me, biting harder on her lip and really digging my fingers in to her ass. She let out another small moan, and I felt her lean into me for the barest of seconds before I released her, and walked quickly passed her.

Between Jessica and the hall, I smiled to myself. Even holding her like that, hurting and scaring her just that little bit, almost felt more satisfying than everything we’d done upstairs.

Rose had gone a little crazy with the shopping, probably trying to waste as much time as possible so she wouldn’t have to deal with the awkward situation she was in with Jessica. Even though she’d been struggling with armfuls of plastic bags, there were still more in the car. It took us a while to get everything in the house and put away, but we definitely had enough food now, at least.

As the night progressed, I found that Jessica had been right about Rose’s reaction. She was a little quiet, at first, but it didn’t take long for her to go back to normal, joking around with us like always.

And apart from a few secret smiles at me when Rose wasn’t looking, by the time Jessica left everything seemed to be back to normal with her too. On the surface, anyway.

But if everything went how I was planning with Jessica, things were about to take another interesting turn.

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