We both slept well, and woke to fresh fruit and juice inside our hut. I
didn’t know if it was someone thanking me for saving that kid, or more
likely, someone with hots for my husband. We did our morning routine, ate
some of the fruit, and took the rest with us. Dale was well rested. I’d
slept well, with no unpleasant dreams.
When we got to breakfast, I noticed our seating arrangements had been
shifted slightly but significantly. Before, Tala sat between Adda and Dale
and me. Now, I was next to Adda, Dale by me, then Tala. This ordering
indicated the family relationship; I was Adda’s daughter, and Tala was
mine. It was a simple change, but it made my head spin.
When we sat down, Tala’s boyfriend was with her. They were about
through eating. I gave them some of the fruit we’d brought, and looked
over my future son-in-law sternly. Was he good enough for my little girl?
I’d have Dale find out more about him, and talk to him myself.
They left soon after. He bowed to me with newfound respect. After they
were gone, I looked at Adda. It seemed as if she was going to burst with
laughter, as was one of her friends. She moved over to me and said, “You
did that very well. I thought he was going to wet the ground, you gave him
such a great-grandmother of a look!”
I broke out laughing, amazed at how quickly I’d adapted to the role.
Dale received two more propositions, turning one down flat, tentatively
accepting one for the next morning. We headed up the hill again, and after
sharing moths, I comforted him and returned him to the rejuvenating sleep.
I sat and thought, working more on my report, chasing a myriad of loose
ends.
I woke him and we walked down again for an uneventful lunch. Uneventful
if you ignore more propositions, for both of us. Dale gave me a sly look
after one young man left some fruit for us. He had bathed, trimmed his
hair and beard, and even cleaned his teeth. I shook my head slowly side to
side and thanked him. After he left dejectedly I laughed softly to myself
and whispered in Dale’s ear, “I love you.”
Dale left soon after with his afternoon paramour. We’d seen the two
from yesterday during lunch; they were both still smiling, although their
husbands looked a little glum. I told him we’d send out the rescue parties
in time for dinner.
Tala left with her boyfriend, Dina left with her husband. Adda and I
sat together for a while.
She said softly, “I spoke with Tala. In some ways you are my sister.”
I looked into her eyes, looking across a gap that was inches, light
years, and thousands of years all at the same time. And yet I felt so
close to her, to Dina, and to Tala.
“Yes,” I said with a lump in my throat. “In some ways. But we have
walked different paths. In some ways we are sisters. Yet you are my
mother, and sometimes you are mother to a child who knows very little.”
Adda nodded, looking across the gulf. “And sometimes you are older and
wiser than all of us.”
The lump grew, my eyes stung. “We came here to learn, and we have
learned so much, and yet so little. You have taught me how to love and how
to give. How can I thank you for that?”
She took a kaelen off her right shoulder; I recognized him as her chosen
one. She stroked him with a finger and he flipped over in her palm,
hissing and wiggling his legs. She rubbed his belly, then looked up at me
smiling. “You are thanking us.”
I bowed to her and went to one of the contemplation spots by the small
pool. I asked one of the teens to let me know when dinner was approaching.
She smiled and bowed to me.
I reclined on the moss, in the shade. The breeze was warm and humid, as
it usually is. How good snow would feel now. My nipples shriveled up at
the thought and I laughed. What would these people think of snow? How
could I describe it to them? I set one kaelen to restful sleep, the other
to rejuvenation and closed my eyes.
I awoke to a girl sitting next to me with a gourd of water. I sat up
and drank it, thanking her. I recognized her; she was the one screaming
from a couple days ago. “How is your boyfriend?” I asked.
She said, “Very well, thank you. We are all more careful.”
“Good,” I said, then added, “Sometimes I’m not.”
That broke the ice with us; she gave me a relaxed smile. As I moved my
shoulders I asked her, “Has my husband been found yet?”
She laughed a little. “Oh, they know where he is, they were very loud,
especially the woman.”
I could imagine how loud, and why. I laughed as well.
Then she asked me about our way of kissing. I could tell she meant oral
sex. I gave her a female anatomy lesson and described things to her,
telling her how to train her men well. She thanked me and said she would.
She helped me stand. She was a pretty girl, probably fifteen. She’d be
married in a year or two.
We walked over to the pool. Dale was sitting on a rock, not moving, as
two women walked away from him laughing. I guessed it had happened again.
I’d have to tag the ones he’d been with for the ship to watch. Let’s see
how good these bugs are at regulating pregnancy.
I took my skirt and kaelen off, and stood him up and removed his skirt.
He just stood there with a silly smile on his face. We were standing near
a deep part of the pool, ten or so feet deep, and on solid footing. I used
a variant judo throw to get him over my head and throw him into the water;
I dived in after him.
He came up sputtering as I surfaced near him. He turned to me and
grinned. I took off swimming, and didn’t let him catch me until we were in
shallow water. When I did let him catch me, I didn’t fight fair. I
wrapped my legs around him, grinding into his cock, and got one hand around
the back of his head and squeezed his neck the way I know he loves. I let
him struggle for a bit before I let him kiss me.
We arrived for dinner a bit early and sat down. Yes, the bugs had done
it to him again, and he was worn out. “Does that mean you’re going to rest
tomorrow, or just in the morning?” I asked. He gave me a smile and I
laughed.
Tala approached, with her boyfriend. Both looked very well laid. Tala
bowed and sat down. Her young man dipped his head slightly and sat by her.
I frowned.
I looked at him. “Let me see your hands,” I barked.
He slowly held his hands out. They were filthy. I reached out and
rubbed his light beard between finger and thumb, coming away with residue.
“If you are going to sit here with my daughter you are to be clean.
That means clean hands, face, and hair, and at every meal. Understood?”
He squeaked and nodded his head. And he sat there.
“Well?” I said.
After a moment he scrambled to get up and started to leave.
“Stop!” I called. He froze in his tracks.
“What is your name?” I asked coldly. I thought I remembered his name,
but I wasn’t sure.
He squeaked again, and, “ben, ben,” is all that came out. It’s a filler
sound in their tongue, such as “ah” in ours.
“So, Ben it is,” I told him. “How do you show respect for your elders,
Ben?”
He bowed, a little better, and started off again. “Stop!” I yelled. He
stopped.
“Do you always run off without asking permission?”
He bowed his head a little and squeaked some more, finally asking
formally, “May I go and wash up?”
I smiled. “Yes, please do. We will save dinner for you.”
He looked at me and bowed, then looked at me again. I waved a hand to
Adda; he caught on quickly and bowed to her and the other elders as well,
then ran off.
I was biting my tongue to keep from laughing. When his heels left the
clearing I let myself chuckle out loud. Adda let out a very satisfied
laugh. “Is this what you wanted, Tala?” she asked.
I looked at Tala; she wasn’t sure she was happy or not. I held my thumb
and finger up to my nose to check my suspicions. I was correct; they
reeked of pussy juice. I held them to Tala’s nose and she took a whiff,
blushing a bit. I said softly, “You are training him well, my daughter.”
She smiled and laughed with us.
Dale gave me a raised eyebrow.
“If you hadn’t been so busy today, I would have told you,” I said with a
satisfied grin. He rolled his eyes but smiled and took my hand, kissing
it. I told him Tala had asked me to act as her mother. That’s why we were
sitting a little differently. I also told Dale to check out our future
son. Tala gave me a quizzical look at that.
“Ben,” as I would call him from then on, returned much cleaner, and
before we’d finished eating. We had saved him some food, which I think
surprised him. The general rule for meals is simple; if you’re late, you
go hungry.
We finished eating and Dale took him aside for a chat. As I was getting
ready to head back to our hut Adda said, “Come walk with me.”
I glanced at Tala; she seemed surprised. Well, let’s show the proper
respect. I turned to Adda and said, “As you wish, mother.” Adda gave Tala
a very self-satisfied look. I went off with Adda.
We went to one of the contemplation spots and sat down.
“I approve of the way you are doing things. Tala may not, but she’s
young.” Adda told me.
“Thank you,” I told her, “this is a new role for me.”
She shook her head, smiling. “But you have done similar things before,
we can tell.”
I thought about the students I’d taught, those I’d supervised. Yes,
there were some similarities.
“But not here. There are special things I must do, things I don’t know.
Teach me, mother.”
She smiled and nodded. “Yes. You decide the day she is to make her
husband. Decide when it will be best for you. They are ready any time.
If you wait long enough, she will ask. But it is better if you tell her.”
I sighed. I was to pick the day. I was to start the cycle again. What
would be best for me? Was this a test of my suitability, to see if I could
choose wisely?
I thought for a bit. She’d probably get two or three kaelen. I
shuddered, remembering what Adda had gone through, what I was going to go
through, my dream. Figure four days for the cycle. Split the time between
the end of my period and ovulation to give me time to recover from my
period, and then recover from the ordeal before the bugs took me into rut.
“Mother, tell me if my choice is wise. Three or four days after
returning from the huts feels correct.”
She smiled and gave me a sigh of her own. “Yes, that is the best.”
“Will you be there to help?” I asked, surprised at the emotion in my
voice.
“I will help as much as I can,” she told me.
I knew what that answer meant; I’d gotten it from others, and even given
it myself.
“Thank you, mother. I will make you proud.”
She started to stand. I stood and we hugged briefly. “I know you will,
my daughter,” she said before we started back.
Dale was in our hut when I returned. “How’s our future son?” I asked.
We hugged as I sat down on the moss.
“He seems pretty good,” Dale told me. “I’ll talk to the others, but I
think he’s a hard worker, and healthy. I had the ship do a scan on him.
But…” He shook his head slowly.
“But what?” I asked as I felt his shoulders.
He sighed and sat up a little straighter. “It’s the same with most of
them. Honest, hard working, healthy, it’s just…”
“What? What’s wrong with them?” My interactions with males were quite
limited. He had access to data I didn’t have. Did he see a pattern, a
trend?
“They’re all bubble heads, I guess,” he told me finally.
“And that means?”
He sighed again. “No spark, no inquisitiveness, no drive. Ask them to
do something, they’ll give their all to do it. Ask them to think of a
better way…”
“Are you saying they’re dumb?”
He frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean? Cognitive limitations?
Along what dimensions? What limitations derive from their language
structure, what from their environment, genetics?”
I nodded. “Okay, it was an ill formed question. But I think you’re on
to something. All the females I talk with are bright, and most are
inquisitive. If there’s a difference, I want to know about it.”
It had to be the bugs again. Anything unusual here leads back to the
bugs. Could you breed smart females and dumb males? Nah, I didn’t think
so; the genetic and environmental components were too closely intertwined
between the sexes. You’d end up with both sexes dumbed down. That left
upbringing. I hadn’t seen how the young were raised. How were the bugs
involved in that process? What motivated the bugs?
Still unsure, I used them to comfort us and give Dale the recharging
he’d need for the next day. I slept well, with no nasty dreams, but one
with undercurrents all the same. It was the bugs. They were after one of
my old systems engineering professors, Professor Conn, of all people. What
did that mean?
The next day was a repeat, but a little more frenzied. We had to rescue
Dale in the morning and in the afternoon, and that evening after dinner we
could all tell the flutter-giggles were just about gone for the season. As
I led Dale back to our hut we could feel the cool damp wind that told us a
storm was approaching. I laid him down on the soft moss and comforted him,
sending him to sleep, and then setting one of my kaelen to rejuvenating
him, while I had another sharpen my mind.
I sat in the darkness, feeling and hearing the storm approach,
practicing breathing exercises I’d neglected for a while. I straightened
my back and focused on my breath, letting the feelings roil inside, just as
the storm roiled outside. I remembered what Barbara taught me so long ago:
“Serenity isn’t freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm.”
Eventually I lay back on the moss. I put a hand on his side; he moved a
little. We are not natives, I told myself; we are members of the Survey
Service. We are professional nomads; our home is nowhere, and wherever we
are. With that, I let my companions sing me to sleep.
The next morning was cool, windy, and rainy. The flutter-giggles were
gone. This made some people sad, and others happy. Things could return to
normal once again. Dale headed off with a small crew to check on some
erosion control measures he was trying at one end of the fields. I worked
with Dina assessing the damage the moths had brought.
Probably thanks to the scare the first day, we didn’t have any serious
injuries. Dina was surprised; there were usually a few broken bones and
some serious lacerations. She’d been talking with one of the elders; they
had memories of a few deaths in the past from the moths, but none in recent
years.
Dina told me she would guide me when Tala was to make her husband. I
checked the chronometer; my period would be due in two days. Give three
days for my period, three to recover; I told her it would be in eight or
nine days. She told me to let her know the day before so we could make
preparations.
That gave me a little over a week to prepare myself. I spent the
afternoon in one of the contemplation spots. I sat in a meditation posture
I’d used for many years. Even though I hadn’t used it much on-planet, my
body recognized it and so did my mind. After a couple minutes my menagerie
started the thrumming sound to sharpen my mind again.
I let the thoughts and feelings flow through me, experiencing them and
letting them go. Something about this place was so peaceful. But
something told me there was a price being paid. It must be the reduced
population, the carefully controlled breeding. It fit; they were trading
growth, which would force change, for stability. I felt different parts of
me reacting differently to this thought. Parts of me found this bargain
satisfactory. Yet other parts knew that if this bargain had been made on
the ancient Homeworld, man would never have reached the stars.
To never know the stars — what a price to pay! Yet as this thought
brought strong emotions welling up within me, I also realized the other
things they didn’t know, as far as we’d been able to discover. They didn’t
know war, or famine, or hatred. We knew now that adultery did occur, but
under careful societal sanctions. Fighting, even arguing, were all but
unknown. What price, peace?
They didn’t lie. There wasn’t much to be gained from it, for one thing.
Children, and teens, still tested boundaries as they grew; it’s part of
growing up. What was different here? Other things clicked. A hypothesis
formed.
I contacted the ship and reviewed some of our biometric recordings. I
experienced once more the sounds of our greeting that first night, then the
questioning the next morning. Now I could recognize separate patterns from
the kaelen chorus. One sound was a relaxation sound; that effectively
reduced our ability to mount a physical attack. It also reduced our
greeters’ ability to defend themselves. Another sound in the mix was the
comfort-root. The presence of those two explained why we felt so relaxed
and safe.
Another sound was in the mix; one I’d not been taught. I isolated it
and had the shipboard AI search for other examples of it in my recordings.
It was present the next morning when we’d been questioned, along with
the relaxation sound. And, it had been present on a number of occasions
where Dina had talked to me, especially early on. I let the linguist in me
explore the sound, feeling for its root, its variations. I hypothesized
the male variant and used command privilege to have the ship search Dale’s
recordings for that variant. The ship found it, and I listened to some of
those incidents. I recognized elders’ voices. Adda had asked him a week
or so after we landed if he was my husband. I listened to his voice filled
with emotion telling her he was and always would be. I felt a tear roll
down my cheek, to be intercepted along my jawline by a small tongue.
I opened my eyes and stretched for a while, lying on the moss, sheltered
from most of what was now light drizzle. It was getting to be late
afternoon.
Soon Dale came by. I saw him separate from a group of men. He’d made
himself a very silly looking hat to keep off the rain; we’d be seeing a
flourish of those now.
He sat beside me and we kissed. Then he lay down on the moss with his
head in my lap. I decided to test my hypothesis. It was perhaps
underhanded, but then that kind of behavior is one of the finest products
of our civilization.
I started my kaelen relaxing both of us, comforting him, and after he
was very relaxed, started them on the male variant of my test sound.
After a couple minutes I quietly asked him, “How many times have you
been off the island?” I’d gently probed him on this issue in the past, and
he’d always been evasive.
He immediately answered, “A dozen or so, maybe sixteen. There are these
rock formations about 150 clicks from here with incredible fossils. I
think they may have been a hive species in the past. The ship may have
found some more on the other side of the planet, it’s too early to tell
yet.”
I started stroking his forehead again, then pulled him up and leaned
forward a little to get a nipple in his mouth. I started him into deeper
relaxation.
I silenced my kaelen shortly after that, and held Dale to me, thinking.
It was a truth-sound. Why did that surprise me? They’d already
demonstrated their versatility in affecting the body and the mind in other
ways. Was it possible truth had a biological basis?
Did this represent a new threat to us, to our security, or that of the
ship? We knew the AI would not, and could not, land the ship. It could
transport us up to the ship, and could transport others if we chose to do
so. The closest we could come to self-destruct would be to send the ship
back to base without us. That thought left me cold, and reflecting on that
deep sudden chill told me this was not yet my home.
I heard people gathering for dinner. One of the young women who helped
me occasionally stood at a sociable distance. I smiled to her and nodded;
she turned and left.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” I told my wonderful strong man. I massaged his
scalp a little. He woke up and reached up, pulling me down and taking my
nipple again. He sucked for a few seconds.
Then he stopped suddenly, catching his breath. He released me and sat
up, giving me a questioning glance.
I smiled. “I just figured it out. They’ve used that on us from the
beginning, but rarely.”
He opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything. According to formal
protocol, he should ask my permission as mission commander before making
use of effectors to leave the island, or before making any use of ship
systems that could reveal our capabilities.
“I don’t mind. It’s your job. I trust you to be careful,” I told him.
He still had a confused look on his face, sitting there. I moved up to
my knees and held him to a breast, circling my hands behind his head and
holding him to me, making him moan.
“I love you. You are my husband. That hasn’t changed.”
He squeezed me and a sigh racked through him. We held each other for
another minute or so, then got up and went to dinner.
After dinner, walking back to our hut, I could tell he was still
thinking about what I’d done.
In our hut I held his hands. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. It was the best
way to test my hypothesis.”
He smiled, even laughed a little. “No, I don’t mind that. It’s
fascinating, that’s all. How did a bug evolve that ability; it’s so
specialized.”
“Abstract?” I added.
“I would have thought so, but if they can fart truth, I’m not sure.”
I laughed at his choice of words. “I won’t do that to you again.”
He held my hands. “It’s okay, it’s just another gland being stimulated.
But how did it evolve? I can see relaxation, sleep, even reproductive
control. But truth?”
I speculated. “Maybe in a deeper symbiosis, they recognize lies as a
threat to the host, and therefore a threat to them? My question is are
they hard wired, or can they evolve and react to new situations, produce
new compounds?”
He grunted. “How about that mind-clearing thing? That seemed to take
them all by surprise.”
I nodded; it had. Dale was evidently making good use of the ship, why
shouldn’t I? I set up a quick search program to scour the planet searching
for instances of that sound. If it wasn’t in use elsewhere, that would not
help us decide between the reemergence of something dormant or a new
development, but it would be another clue.
Then I told him of what I expected in the next week to two weeks — my
period, recovery, helping Tala “make” her Ben, and then starting the cycle
over again. I asked him to please stay on the island for me during those
key times. He kissed my hand and said he would.
We lay down and snuggled close. I held him to me again. My mind was
still racing so. I had the kaelen lead us through comfort and into restful
sleep.
I woke with a start in the middle of the night. I didn’t know what
caused it; it was something deep. Dale woke and held me. I had to resist
flinching when my kaelen recognized I was awake and dropped from their
perches to climb back on me. Dale held me to his chest, his arms around
me. Then he started making the comforting sound. My kaelen answered, and
soon eased us back into sleep.
I woke before he did, as the sun was rising. I recalled with some
surprise the way he’d comforted me during the night. So they would respond
to cues from a male!
I used the chamber pot, then had a drink of water. He started to stir.
I straddled him and as he opened his eyes I said, “This is for last
night.”
I started my kaelen relaxing him and driving us to ecstasy at the same
time. He moaned as he fought it for a moment, then gave in. When I felt
him let go I put a nipple in his mouth and rode him in earnest. He came
quickly, triggering my own orgasm. I let myself collapse to his side,
pulling him to me, letting the kaelen comfort us, and then felt them
feasting on our fluids.
After breakfast we went up to our spot on the hillside.
“You’ve been practicing,” I suggested to him.
“What?” he said innocently.
“Speaking to the kaelen.”
He nodded with a lopsided smile. “Might be useful some day.”
I agreed. “Ever hear other men, boys talking to them?”
He shook his head. “Other than the comforting, relaxing sound, no.”
“Want me to put together a study program for you?”
He smiled. “Yes! Want to learn more archeology?”
“No!” I told him, and we both laughed. I told him of my observations so
far regarding root formation and the use of modifiers. I told him he
needed to practice well outside of earshot of other people, as well as
kaelen.
The following two days passed without note, and I moved into a hut for
my period. I’d planned on putting together Dale’s study program, but just
felt tired. I let my kaelen comfort and rejuvenate me, saving energy for
what was to come.
I emerged two and a half days later, bathed, and headed for lunch. I
sat down in my usual spot. Adda gave me a wonderful smile; I’d thought she
would be disappointed that I was still having periods. Dale and Ben
appeared shortly, with another group of men. I gave Ben a careful eye; he
was fairly clean.
Dale sat down next to me and gave me a quick squeeze and a peck on the
neck. “I missed you,” he said.
I looked at him. He seemed different. “What’s happened to you?” I
asked softly.
He laughed and leaned over to my ear, whispering, “I’m five for five.”
“What?” I thought for a moment. “Oh! How do they know?”
He shrugged. “The bugs, what else. I had the ship confirm. Three
boys, two girls. Genetically sound. Looks like more support for the
Diaspora theorists.”
I poked him in the ribs. “More support for male egos, if you ask me.
Do they know the sexes?”
He shrugged again, handing me some fruit. “Don’t know. I haven’t told
anyone what the scans revealed.”
I talked to Adda after lunch; Dale was off again.
Adda asked me, “Your husband told you?”
I nodded. “He must be pleased,” I said, referring to the kaelen.
“Three boys and two girls.”
She looked surprised. “How do you know?”
I smiled. “We know.” I took a deep breath; I felt strong, rested. “And
in a few days, Tala will make her husband.”
She nodded and smiled, bowing her head to me slightly.
Damn, I thought as I walked. I should have set up a prospective study
of the flutter-giggle induced rutting to see how many pregnancies resulted.
Probably two thirds of the female population of the village should have
been fertile during that period. I could have the ship scan for early term
pregnancies. Yeah, let’s do that. Do the scan during the early part of
dinner, distributed over the area to minimize how excited the kaelen
become.
Why not just ask? I asked Adda, “How many others will there be?”
She had a thin smile at my question. “Three others.”
I nodded. I didn’t cancel the scan. I felt she was holding something
back. What? Why? Or was I just imagining things?
She changed the subject. “In the next few weeks we may have visitors
from other villages. We will need your help greeting them.”
I smiled and nodded. “I will help however I can.”
She said, “I knew you would.”
I don’t remember what happened during the rest of the afternoon, because
when the ship gave me the results of its scan during dinner, I choked on
the food I had in my mouth.
After coughing violently and scaring the hell out of Dale and those
around me, the first thing I did was had the ship rescan with tighter
parameters; pregnancies restricted to conception during the period of the
flutter-giggles, and all pregnancies.
A minute later the ship reported the same result. I knew why Adda had
been tight lipped when she’d answered my question, and why I felt she was
hiding something. She’d told me we were having Dale’s five, plus three
more. The ship reported eleven pregnancies during the conception window I
requested. There were two women in the village most obviously close to
term. Three others were about four months along. Other than that,
nothing.
I couldn’t help but give Adda a pained look. I hope she took it to be
from my choking. She knew; she had to know. My God, what a price for
stability! I know from my study of history that abortion is common in many
societies. It was practiced on the ancient Homeworld through the
beginnings of the Atomic Age and the first Exploration of Space, as hard to
believe as that was.
Why did this bother me so? Why did it shake me to my core? Did three
women in our village know they were pregnant, and also know they would
never come to term? Or worse yet, are they unaware that the decision has
been made for them? Or is it Dale fathering five — if I’d just kept him
to myself another morning, another afternoon…. If I’d kept him busy and
he hadn’t knocked up some of those women, would the others have been
allowed to give birth?
I was still shaken as Dale helped me back to the hut. Inside, I held
him and sobbed. The kaelen started to comfort me, but Dale silenced them.
“Can you tell me? What is it?” Dale implored me.
I couldn’t control my voice. The damn bugs — they had been working so
damn hard to get me pregnant. Would that continue? Stability fueled by
life? I couldn’t find my voice; I was sobbing so. The kaelen started
calming me again. As they did I held Dale and nodded my head. He
understood and let them continue. He held me, rocked me. Gradually I
settled down. Haltingly I explained to him the difference between what
Adda had told me and what the ship reported.
Dale calmly pointed out what I already knew about history. He also
pointed out that we were in their world; our models did not apply here. He
asked if I had a model that could explain the difference, the three that
would be aborted.
That snapped me back to reality. What kind of investigator had I
become? I asked the ship to detail the pregnancies. We both reviewed the
results. One thing stuck out immediately. Of the six pregnancies, three
were first time. The other three were married couples who already had one
or two children.
I sighed and held Dale; I almost laughed. It made sense. We knew one
or two children per family were the norm. N/K’s orbital survey had shown
that, as well as the apparent clustering of births in certain periods of
the year.
It made sense. Go for genetic diversity. If I were planning a program,
that’s what I’d do. We were outsiders and represented new genetic
material. If we stayed, would I get knocked up by a native? From a genetic
perspective, He would like that. So why was I being given the repeated
chance to breed with Dale? From a genetic perspective, it made more sense
for me to get knocked up first by a native. With the flutter-giggles
around, it would have been easy to inflame my passions and keep me on my
back…. Possibly there was choice in this system after all, choice within
a limited range.
“I love you,” I told Dale.
“I love you,” he told me.
We held each other close. As much as I didn’t want to, I started the
damn bugs easing us to sleep — it was one of the few things that made
sense.
The next morning I was ready to start with Tala. Let’s get the cycle
started again. Before breakfast I saw Dina and told her we were ready to
go ahead. She nodded, picked up some food, and headed out. I told Dale to
keep Ben away all day.
Adda greeted me cautiously at breakfast. “Are you well today, my
daughter?”
I sighed. “I am better, my mother.”
She reached out and we held hands over the gulf.
As breakfast ended, Dale called Ben and they headed off. Tala started
to get up. I looked at Adda; she smiled to me and nodded.
“Tala,” I said, “please come with me.”
She looked at me; apprehension, surprise, elation all swept through her.
She trembled a bit and bowed. “Yes, mother,” she answered formally.
We went to the small pond and bathed. I could tell by the way she
moved, by the way her body reacted, that she knew what was to happen. How
many weeks ago was it that I started this journey, and started it in
ignorance?
We walked silently to the huts by the small pond. I saw Dina standing
by one. We walked over to it; Dina bowed and left. I waved Tala inside.
“You know what to do, my daughter. I will be here.”
I could see her eagerness, her nervousness, and her joy. Her hand
trembled against the outside of the hut as she bent over to enter.
I sat outside the hut, making myself comfortable.
I sat in a formal meditation pose, one that had served me well over the
decades. Inside the hut I heard Tala starting out. I don’t know if it was
from the sound alone, or if pheromones were drifting outside to affect me,
but I felt calm and comforted. How many kaelen did she have in there with
her?
She started the next phase. Even though I was deep in meditation, I
heard her rapid breathing, then soft animal noises coming from her. I felt
a tingle and inhaled sharply, passion filling me. I felt my nipples react,
and felt the dampness between my legs. I knew I had to move farther away
if I was to remain conscious through the next phase.
I opened my eyes to see Adda standing a short distance away, hands
behind her back, smiling softly. I bowed to her, flowed up to standing,
and moved a few feet further from the hut. I reached a point where I felt
a breeze on my face; that would be good, and probably keep me safe, yet
still within earshot.
Adda approached and knelt by my side.
“This is a good spot,” she told me. “Someone will bring you lunch.
Dina and the others will arrive by midafternoon. You want to wake her just
before she begins a new cycle, or as she begins a new cycle. She should
complete three cycles at least.”
I smiled and bowed again. “Thank you, mother,” I said softly.
Adda got up and left. I reviewed my audio recordings for the last hour
or so and put chronometer marks on the beginning of Tala’s cycles. I
commanded the ship to track and predict, giving me visual updates. Tala
was fairly loud in the hut. Is that what I sound like? I thought about
reviewing that time, but decided to settle back and wait.
I was about to get up and go cue the kaelen myself when I heard Tala
start, and saw the ship generated marker flash in my vision. I felt the
breeze on my face and settled back into meditation.
I didn’t go to sleep, but I did drift fairly deep into meditation. Why
was I so emotional these days? I’d learned decades ago that even though I
considered myself to be a cool analytic person, that was but a thin shell
covering a volatile and emotional core. I thought I’d come to terms with
my emotional side in my late twenties. I knew it was a source of strength,
guidance, and wisdom; all I had to do was listen.
What was I being told by that part of me now? I was unsettled, unsure.
I had a vision of a thick, viscous liquid on top of another liquid,
dampening it. Then Professor Conn reappeared and started to speak, only to
be chased away by three huge winged male kaelen. I let these thoughts and
visions drift through, not holding on to them.
I remembered what he taught us, fitting it to this world. A system that
seems stable is either growing slowly or decaying slowly. Maintaining
stability requires energy, energy which is diverted from other parts of the
system. Periods of instability correlate with rapid growth, change,
evolution. You either fuel change or you fuel control, stability.
Another marker flashed in my vision; Tala started another cycle. If my
analysis was correct, the energy that would go into population growth was
fueling the control mechanism. It was a high price for peace, for
stability. How much were we disturbing this stability? And how would the
system react to preserve itself?
I shuddered at that thought, reliving for a moment my dream, legs moving
so slowly as I tried to escape the winged males. No, not escaping; trying
to save the children, especially our son. I remembered feeling they’d
already gotten Dale. What did that mean? What had they done to him? I
felt it wasn’t as simple as using him for a host.
I started my kaelen sharpening my mind. I didn’t have all the puzzle
pieces yet. I chuckled to myself; we never would. Still, I felt I was
missing something; we were missing something.
Another marker; Tala was going into passion again. I listened to her
move through it quickly, easily, and more intensely. After a few minutes
of silence she moved again into rest.
I settled back into meditation. Dale and I should take a day or so for
a formal review of our reports so far. How do we do this within the bounds
of normal behavior? By sharpening our minds, we could do it in a few
evening sessions, yet I wanted a longer period, and the ability to work in
a space where we could have projected visuals. Even though the images
projected directly into my visual cortex were very high quality, being able
to move among larger projections, rearranging and editing, was still
valuable. I laughed to myself; in spite of the augmentation, we are still
kinesthetic beings.
Tala was midway through her third cycle when a young teen brought me
lunch. The manner in which she presented it to me told me she considered
this an honor. I asked her if she had eaten yet; she told me no. I asked
her to sit, and shared my simple meal with her. We ate quietly as Tala
went into another rest phase. We finished eating and she slipped away,
bowing with a big smile on her face. I settled in once again.
Tala completed two more cycles before I heard the others approaching. I
opened my eyes to see them sitting off at a respectable distance from the
hut. I could also see Dina’s hair moving gently in a breeze; she had
seated them well. I had the ship flash its projection of Tala’s cycles
into my vision. Her next cycle would probably start in about fifteen
minutes. Fine, I’d wait ten and go in. I nodded to the group and closed
my eyes again.
How would I prepare to go in there? The place had to be loaded with
pheromones, and I’d be walking into it. Two minutes prior to entering I
started my crew sharpening my mind, then used a little shot of the
stimulation sound.
My mind was crystal clear and my heart racing as I opened my eyes. I
smiled to the group waiting patiently with the unbaked bread, then bowed
and flowed up to standing in one motion. I walked to the hut, bowed down,
and entered.
Still I was hit by the cloud of pheromones — the sensations and
feelings tugging at me. The kaelen in the top of the hut scrambled around
at my entrance. My chosen one made a chittering sound briefly, and all of
them went silent.
I sat next to Tala. I could also smell her arousal; what a delicious
body she had. I chuckled to myself; that’s not the way to think of your
daughter.
As I was excusing myself for that thought, blaming it on the cloud of
pheromones, Tala opened her eyes. They were somewhat glazed, but they
opened.
I helped her to a sitting position and gave her some water to drink.
“How are you, my daughter?” I asked.
She sighed and blinked a couple times. “I am well, mother.”
I gave her a hug and helped her out of the hut. The others came quickly
and started loading in the materials to bake the bread we would share in
the morning. I led Tala back to the pond and helped her bathe. For a
while I held her floating on her back, holding her head above the water in
the crook of my arm. After a few moments she relaxed and I moved her
slowly in the water.
We washed in the small falls; the colder water helping to bring us both
back to a more alert state. We got out, and the girl from lunch and one of
her friends combed out our hair. With our skirts back on, and my kaelen in
place, I walked with Tala back to the village center.
“Is it tomorrow night, mother?” Tala asked me.
“Yes. Are you ready?” I replied.
“Are you?” she asked in return.
I laughed and held her to me. “No, I’m not. But tomorrow comes
anyway.”
We were early for the evening meal, so we walked for a while, circling
lover’s lane. It was fairly quiet; we were still catching up on work
delayed by the arrival of the flutter-giggles. Still, two of my favorite
spots sounded quite well occupied. Somehow we ended up by the seashore,
near the spot we landed. Tala looked apprehensive.
“What is wrong, daughter?” I asked.
She stepped closer to me. My kaelen were acting a little agitated. I
touched each to calm them.
Tala said, “I very seldom come here. This is a man’s place.”
That was interesting. Why was it a man’s place? As I took a deep
breath of the sea air, I understood. “We’ll head back. This is the place
we landed,” I told her.
We walked back along the path Dale and I had taken, how many months ago?
I understood why the shore was a man’s place, why the kaelen didn’t like
it. Woman’s power was based on the kaelen and their pheromones. The crisp
moving sea air rendered them ineffective. As we walked along the path, I
started them sharpening my mind. I should do this more often, I thought; I
needed to keep my analytical skills sharp. And bury my emotional side
again, a not so small voice inside me called out…. Ahh balance; we’re
always struggling for balance.
We walked into the village center as people were gathering for the
evening meal. Dale and Ben were standing around; they wouldn’t sit down
until we arrived. I laughed softly to myself; we entered the center on a
path pretty much opposite the one to the pools. That should confuse
things.
We were both happy to see our men, and they were happy to see us. We
sat down to our meal. Afterwards Tala and Ben headed off. Dina and Adda
got my attention; I told Dale I’d meet him back at the hut. He hugged me
hungrily and headed off.
Adda, Dina, and I walked to the hut of one of the older women. I
remembered it as the place I’d picked my kaelen. We sat and I was
introduced. Tomorrow I would help Dina prepare the hut that Tala and Ben
would use. After dinner I would bring Tala here, so she could choose her
kaelen. As we did that, Dina would lead Ben to the hut. I would bring
Tala, and once she went inside, I would return here for two additional
kaelen; these I would place on the outside of the hut. They would enter if
they were called. Then I would sit and wait.
She asked me if I was ready. It wasn’t tomorrow I that concerned me; it
was two days from now. I looked at her and told her my daughter had asked
the same question. After a pause, I gave the same answer I’d given Tala:
“Tomorrow comes anyway.”
She responded with a wonderful laugh. We bowed and left. As we walked
back, Adda said softly, “She hasn’t laughed like that in a long time. You
gave a good answer.”
I chuckled a little; I gave a very old answer.
I stopped to relieve myself on the way to our hut. I needed him inside
me tonight. I was hungry and wet by the time I got to the hut. I dropped
my skirt and pushed him to his back, starting my kaelen relaxing him,
bringing me to ecstasy, and holding him off. I rode him mercilessly until
I was nearly exhausted.
I slid off him and comforted him for a while, holding him to my breast.
Then I lay on my back on the soft moss and started the kaelen again. I
started them bringing him up again, and releasing and relaxing me. I felt
myself melt into the moss in a wave of passion as he entered me. Sometime
later after he’d filled me, we rolled together and I comforted him, our
chorus once again singing us to sleep.
The next morning before our meal Dina and I walked over to the hut Tala
had used the day before and recovered our bread. We walked back to a
separate area; Tala and Ben were there, as was Adda.
I handed them pieces of the bread, saying, “This is special bread for us
to share. Today is a day of rest for both of you.” I saw the shock of
recognition in Ben’s face, and the look he gave Tala. Tala smiled and
bowed to us.
The bread definitely had its effects; I felt good, elated, yet calmed. I
wanted to hold Dale, to kiss and nuzzle with him, to roll around on that
soft moss with him.
But Dina and I had our work to do. Besides watching Tala and Ben, I was
told we needed to relax them if they got too excited. We took a break,
then Dina showed me where the moss was grown.
It was a cool, damp spot on the other side of one of the hills. A
well-worn path led to it. There were stone and wood implements here, used
for harvesting the moss. It was simple work, although the moss itself was
heavy. I was glad I kept up my strength through swimming; I was able to
carry more than Dina could. At her suggestion, I also cut a small patch
for me to sit on through the night.
After setting the moss in place, we had lunch. After lunch Dina took
one of her kaelen and placed it in the brush above Tala and Ben. She
motioned to me and I did the same. I placed mine, then started singing
them to sleep. The kaelen picked up the tune quickly. Dina and I silenced
the kaelen remaining with us as we stepped away, watching Tala and Ben
relax in each other’s embrace. I remembered that, how wonderful it had
been.
I learned that the making of the finely woven skirts was the task of the
younger girls; a pair were ready for Tala and Ben. Everything seemed to be
in place, and under control. Everything except me — every once in a while
my heart would take off racing, wondering about my part of the ritual to
come.
The rest of the day was easy on the young ones. We woke them in late
afternoon and watched them bathe in the pool, obviously nervous with
anticipation. Tala worked especially diligently in washing Ben’s hair and
beard, glancing over to me occasionally.
We ate dinner; I ate heartily, and Tala and Ben ate hardly at all.
After dinner I hugged Dale. “Stay on the island,” I whispered to him, “I
love you.”
He sighed and said, “I love you. I’ll miss you.”
Then I nodded to Dina. She took Ben’s hand and led him away. I turned
to Tala and said, “Come with me, my daughter.” Tala looked to me with
nervous anticipation and fell in behind me.
We walked silently to the old woman’s hut. She was sitting outside
smiling when we arrived. She laughed as we approached. I turned to Tala
and said, “Pick one.”
Tala sighed and started choosing. It was the same as it had been with
me. I could see the concentration on her face, the disappointment as one
skittered from her touch, and the elation when one hissed in pleasure, then
flipped on its back in her hand, wiggling its legs. Tala looked at us with
tears in her eyes. She knew what was to happen; I hadn’t.
The old woman laughed again and waved us away.
I took Tala and her new companion back to the hut. I kissed her on the
forehead and looked her in the eye. “You know what to do, my daughter. I
will be here.”
She trembled with excitement as she hugged me. Then she practically
jumped into the hut.
After a couple minutes, I returned to the old woman’s hut. She waved
for me to sit, so I did. Her smile was infectious. She seemed to have
eight or ten young kaelen on her, and two old adults, each with a gemlike
shine. Three of the youngsters skittered over to me, seemingly racing
around my body, each trying to outdo the other in taking the longest, most
circuitous, and most ticklish path to the top of my head. I laughed with
her at their antics.
Then she sighed and said, “You have much to teach us.”
“Thank you, grandmother,” I said formally, “We have much to learn from
you.”
She looked up into the sky. “You are from out there?” she asked.
I sighed. “Yes, from farther than you have words to say.”
“Without Him?” she asked.
I nodded. She laughed, shaking her head at such a strange concept.
She touched my forehead with her hand. “Go to your daughter.”
Tears filled my eyes. I whispered, “Thank you,” and left.
Back at the hut I placed the three youngsters on the outside. Then I
moved my chunk of moss over by a tree and settled in. It was going to be a
long night, and a noisy one.
After a while sitting there, my kaelen started a new sound. I practiced
it, and as I did, felt myself slipping into a relaxed half-awareness. I
was aware still, but not totally. Time was different. So was space — as
I remembered the sensations of entering and leaving subspace, I felt the
tensors of spacetime somehow. I felt our presence in the system, and the
local sun. I drifted to the cycling of cries from the hut. I heard the
chittering sound only once during the night, Tala’s kaelen calling for
reinforcement.
What did that reflect, I asked myself? Was it a measure of the
strength, the drive, of the wife, or a measure of the effort required to
subjugate the husband? In either case, it was no wonder I’d ended up with
three.
Shortly after sunrise I felt someone approaching. I opened my eyes to
see the young girl who had brought me lunch now approaching with breakfast.
I smiled and accepted it from her. I moved slightly; my joints had
withstood the night well. I gave silent thanks, looking at the stars, for
a summer spent studying meditation on a world with slightly higher gravity.
How many years ago had that been, and how many light years from here? I
queried the ship; 230 light years away was its answer.
Tala and Ben evidently woke some time later, and went through another
round of lovemaking. Would they do another round? I guessed they would.
After breakfast time, the elder women gathered. Adda came and sat next
to me. As she approached, I bowed and moved over, giving her my moss patch
to sit upon. She sat down, smiling.
Young girls also appeared with the makings for another batch of bread.
The gathered throng was treated to another round of lovemaking, ending
with a very passionate set of both male and female cries. I head Adda
chuckling softly; I held her hand.
A few minutes later we heard rustlings from within the hut. I felt
Adda’s hand at my back. I bowed and swept up again, thankful for all that
practice. I seemed to move smoothly, without much pain from sitting for so
long.
I met Tala as she exited the hut. I hugged her and kissed her.
“Welcome, my daughter,” I told her. She giggled a little, still somewhat
delirious. I left her and her newly made husband in the hands of the
younger women. One group took them down to the pool to bathe; the other
group set up the bread making in the hut. I picked two lonely kaelen off
the outside of the hut and rubbed them briefly. “Maybe next time,” I told
them softly. A couple of the elder women laughed at my remark.
Dina led me down to the pool as well. I took off my skirt and kaelen,
and went into the water. I took a deep breath and swam underwater for
quite a distance, popping up to float on my back. I swam on my back for a
while, using my arms and shoulders, working the kinks from my hips and
legs. I got out feeling rejuvenated.
Two young girls scrambled to me, one winning out to comb my hair. She
politely asked if I could teach her to swim like that. I told her it took
practice, but I could.
With my skirt and kaelen in place, I stood by the edge of the water and
waved the newlyweds in. Tala brought her catch to shore. He looked as
dazed as Dale had been. The girls handled them both gently. I smiled,
remembering. It had not been that long ago!
With their fine skirts in place, Tala with her two kaelen and dazed
husband in tow, I led the procession to the midday meal. As Adda had done,
I led them around the gathered group and back to our sitting position.
Dale eagerly joined me.
My young friend appeared again with fruit for me, and for Tala. We
accepted it and began the meal.
After lunch, I went back to our hut with Dale. I think he had other
things besides a nap in mind, but I had the kaelen sing us to sleep. I
needed the rest.
Tala presented us with bread at the evening meal. She had tears in her
eyes as she approached me, yet held her head proudly. She said, “Thank
you, mother,” in a voice choked with emotion. After the meal I led her and
her husband to the spot between the trees for the reception line. I hadn’t
noticed it when we’d done it, but Dale and I got hugs as well.
In our hut afterwards, Dale’s lovemaking was frantic and driven. I lay
on my back, letting the kaelen relax me, then take us to sleep.