Sex and the Vampires

Joyce relaxed into her seat in the crowded room. It was so good to get
sometime to her self and leave the dig behind. The last couple of
months had been a constant battle against time and the construction
crews. The auctioneer appeared and the murmur in the saleroom fell to
a polite whispering. Joyce shifted in her seat and was able to get a
clear view past the substantial man in front of her, she hoped he
would stay put for the next hour. On the whole Joyce enjoyed being
what the polite would call “petite” and the direct “damn short” but it
did present a few problems from time to time.

The heavily bearded auctioneer began a deep practiced singsong chant
“Item one, a highly desirable fine oak chest…” Joyce drifted; she
had always had a fascination for sales, ever since her daddy had taken
her to her first one aged four. Although he had passed on two years
back she liked to keep up the tradition. Just like her father before
her she seldom bought, but loved to watch the buying and buyers, she
had no idea why. She remained in this blissful state for some minutes
before the large man in front of her realigned his buttocks on the
thinly padded seat to ease the numbness. Joyce tutted quietly and
squirmed her slight form to regain her view.

“Item fifteen, an exciting one this ladies and gentlemen!” The
auctioneer fabricated, trying to generate some excitement for an item
that had no pre-sale bids “Reputed to be from the beautiful, but
dangerous home of Countess Bathory an ebony handled letter opener”
“Who will start the bidding at $50 for this slice of macabre European
history?” His greedy eyes scanned the room eagerly looking for a bid.
“Come now, at $20, this implement surely sat in that wicked palm”
Again the greedy stare.

“Twenty dollars I am bid, any increase on twenty, going once, twice,
sold to the little lady in the forth row” The bearded man grinned
directly at Joyce “Number” he queried “I’m, sorry” Joyce replied in
confusion “Your bidding number, for the opener” He eyed her in a
slightly old-fashioned way. It suddenly came to her, she had raised
her right hand without even realizing, embarrassed Joyce replied
“Sorry, 378” Quickly the impatient man noted the number and moved on
smoothly to the next item.

Joyce waited patiently in line to collect her unintended purchase.
Finally it was her turn “378, lot 15” the tall blonde teenaged boy
called to his unseen colleague. A second later a “Jiffy” bag was
passed to the uninterested lad “Twenty bucks, Ma’am” he uttered
sliding the packet toward Joyce. In return she placed a crisp bill in
his waiting hand “Enjoy your purchase” the boy attempted to smile, but
failed.

Joyce walked in sunshine back to her downtown apartment, her handbag
weighted down by her unwanted purchase. Closing the door behind her
she sighed and dropped the jiffy bag unopened on to the hall table.
She walked to the kitchen to make an espresso; she obliviously needed
something to kick her into the real world.

Chapter Two: Serendipity

Joyce sat upright in bed and gaped at the sunshine streaming in though
the green curtains. She’d forgotten to set the alarm! Glancing at the
clock only confirmed her suspicion, shit it was 10 O’clock! As the hot
water streamed down her body she wondered how she had slept so long.
After making her coffee she had walked to the bedroom to change for
her customary Sunday night stroll in central park. After stripping she
had rested on the bed for a second, just to clear her head – and
awoken a full eighteen hours later! Mind you she did feel great this
morning, the stinging sports showerhead had certainly worked its magic
today.

Wearing her white bathrobe she headed out of the steaming room and
headed for the kitchen. Two strong coffees later she was ready to meet
the world, and headed back to her bedroom to dress. On the way she
noticed the pile of mail, wandered up the hallway and shuffled the
pack of letters in her hands. All but one she placed in the “later”
rack on the hall table, one unstamped, handwritten letter intrigued
her in its thickness. She ran her nail ineffectively along the sealed
edge, great! The sender’s habit of sealing letters with scotch tape
had just torn her remaining long nail. It was hard enough to get her
hands to look like a woman’s what with the archaeological work, now
due to some fool her prize nail was split.

Her hand reached for the jiffy bag and slid out her previous days
purchase, she truly loved serendipity. In a flash the contents of the
offending envelope sat in her hands. Joyce read the flowing script
with some difficulty. “Contained within provenance for lot fifteen;
due to a staff oversight this was not supplied with your purchase,
sincere apologies, Franklin Howard.

Serendipity wasn’t that great after all; she dropped the now
uninteresting wad of papers with the rest. Joyce went to put down the
opener, but her hand wouldn’t let go! In an instant the temperature of
the hall seemed to plummet, her breath condensed before her eyes. Then
just as quickly, everything was back to normal. The opener clattered
to the table unnoticed as Joyce rubbed her goose-pimpled arms
aggressively. Feeling as if someone had just walked across her grave
she fled to the bedroom to dress. Slipping off her robe she caught
sight of herself in the wardrobes mirror, her nipples stood ridgedly
erect, larger than she ever remembered seeing them. A cold flush hit
her again; quickly she pulled her sweatshirt over her head. Joyce made
a mental note to get someone in to check the heating.

Chapter Three: Monday blues

Claudia watched the beat up Ford swing in through the chain-link gates
and park up, straightening up she gently massaged the tired muscles of
her lower back. She was glad to see her boss making a relaxed start to
the week, driving her self as hard as she had been recently had to end
sometime soon. Brushing the mud from her hands she walked over to the
car. “Sorry no part-time positions going” she joked. “Something wrong
with my heating, I’ll need to get the plumbers in,” Joyce replied
smiling broadly “Any developments in my absence?” “Nothing major, oh
Kirk was looking for you earlier!” Claudia winked “I think he’s taken
a shine to you” Joyce grimaced “He just wants our sorry asses out of
way of his diggers I expect” Joyce made her way to the site office
“Hey Claudia, put some coffee on, I’ll need it by the time I get out”

She rapped her knuckles on the green door, a small white sign hung at
a jaunty angle “Dan Kirk – Site Manager” Without pausing Joyce strode
confidently in. A blonde suntanned man wearing a loud check shirt and
jeans looked up from the complex drawing on his desk “Hi Joy, good
weekend? Does this late start mean you guys are nearly done?” “Its
Joyce, yeah the weekend was fine, and no we need two more weeks to
complete the far side – over by the brook” she replied, with the
feeling she was about to here some bad news. “I’m sorry!” Dan
sheepishly extended his hand “Arrived first post”

She took the letter, read the first paragraph and a half and then sat
heavily on the grubby chair “Wednesday, this Wednesday – its not
possible”. Dan eyed her closely trying to decide the best tack “Why
not look on it as a holiday, you’ve put a lot in?” Joyce scoffed
“Unlike you guys, I can’t afford to just jet off, so mid-October in
New York – how could I resist a holiday. Anyway you miss the point!
After three months of digging we are close to the Nave, and you want
me to stop and walk away!” “Calm down, you need to forget going any
further, it’ll take you the time you’ve got left just to tidy the
site, we start seven am sharp on Wednesday come hell or high
archaeologist! Dan snapped back, “You know I’m just doing my job” “So
was Stalin!” She replied before throwing the door open and tearing out
into the cold mud.

Over an agonized half hour she poured out her venom to Claudia, who
nodded, sympathized and worried with her. Finally Joyce admitted
defeat and turning to her friend said “Let’s start, we’re finished
here, like it or not!” Claudia asked gently “Can you cast your expert
eye over one more find before we tell the others, and start to pack?”
“Why not,” she sighed, “What have you got?”

They stood before the shallow trench, Claudia got down on her haunches
“just there” she pointed. Joyce squinted she could just make out a
curving edge in the yellow-brown mud. “I thought it was another Altar
plate but it looks to thick” Joyce agreed, she clambered down into the
hollow and crouched, using a cotton bud she carefully cleaned a small
section, it was gold, a thick decorative gold frame. A few minutes
careful work and the hand-sized fragment of mirror came free. Joyce
talked as she ran a little water onto the dull surface and cleaned
away the grime “Hungarian, or some where close, looks to be carved
with symbols to ward off evil, mid 16th to 17th centaury” Claudia
squatted hurriedly jotting notes “That has to be the oldest relic
we’ve found here” she commented. “By far!” replied Joyce fascinated
examining the dull mirrors pitted surface.

Before her eyes the mirror regained its reflective silvering, suddenly
its surface was filled by the image of her crouched colleagues groin.
She could clearly see the fullness of the outer lips, the deep valley
dividing them and the hint of darker hued patch right at the core. At
the very edges of the shorts darkened puffy skin, lightly dusted with
fine blonde hairs emerged. Joyce’s heart beat slowly, just as the
pulse in her temples; she seemed to be floating in a sea of what?
Indecision, desire or fear of the unknown, her life seemed suspended
by a thread. Thump, thump, thump, and time stood still, her heart
slowed to no pace at all. From nowhere an arm closed around her
shoulders, and shocked she jumped from back into the day from her
dreaming state. Claudia’s familiar voice sounded in her ear “Are you
O.K.?” her friends voice was full of concern. Joyce recoiled from the
close contact it felt too intimate, too strong. “I’m fine,” laughed
the academic uncertainly.

“Well you look as if you’ve just seen a ghost. Look, Joyce take a
break; I can organise the breakdown over the next couple of days, no
sweat!” Joyce still looked shaken “Maybe you’re right, this has taken
more out of me than I thought” Without further comment she slipped the
dull artifact into her pocket and headed a little dazed towards the
sanctuary of her car. It was only after she had pulled away that
Claudia realized the find was missing; Joyce must have taken it with
her! Claudia decided not to disturb Joyce in her current state of
mind; it could easily wait until Wednesday. It wasn’t until then that
the catalog finally closed for the site. Claudia would call around on
Joyce’s flat and retrieve the mirror before then “I’ll give her some
space,” Claudia decided thoughtfully.

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