Eating my Cum

Philosophically speaking, I see no harm in eating your
own semen and I certainly do not think it makes you
gay. I have absolutely no desire to be with another
man, I just feel that it is insanely hot to think
about my own cum in my mouth, and oh so difficult to
do. In high school, when I was limber and spry, I
attempted autofellatio a few times and was able to
taste my own cum through this method. I cannot say it
is something I necessarily enjoyed at that time, but I
was curious and it was obviously pleasurable.

Time progressed and I tried various other methods of
penis to mouth/tongue/throat semen transfers. I made
bribes and deals with myself, created games that were
fixed to ensure the outcome ended with me eating my
own cum, masturbated in public places with a high
chance of someone catching me so that I would be
f****d to eat my cum in order to not be caught. Anyone
else know how this feels?

Alas, it seemed that every time I convinced myself to
eat my own cum, and every time I was sure I would eat
it, that this was finally going to be the time I
licked my fingers clean, I chickened out. As I have
tasted my own cum a few times, I can tell you that I
do not dislike the taste… mine barely has a taste. I
am not grossed out by the texture at all. I quite like
the warm, gooey feeling of it. It is just that every
time I begin to orgasm, I completely lose the desire
to eat my cum.

Well, having failed so many times in my endeavors, I
decided to talk to my girlfriend about this fantasy.
Over the years that we have been together, I knew I
could trust her with my kinky fantasy. I figured that
it was a fantasy of mine and if she had no desire to
partake in this with me, then it did not need to
progress any further. Nothing ventured, nothing
gained, right?

The first time I brought it up to her she was a bit
startled. We were living in different states at the
time and I brought it up over the phone during phone
sex foreplay. We were discussing different fantasies
and turn-ons when I casually asked her if she would
like me to clean her up when we were done. She was a
bit confused and asked what I meant. I told her that
it was a fantasy of mine to eat my own cum.

We discussed the details of this for a few minutes and
continued our mutual masturbations. She could tell by
my breathing that I was approaching orgasm and softly
whispered over the phone that she would enjoy it if I
ate my cum for her. The thought of licking my fingers
clean for her caused everything in my genitals to ache
for sweet relief. As I orgasmed, I held the head of my
penis in my left hand and this opened my hole.

I watched as my semen slowly bubbled out and
overflowed my swollen head. My index finger and thumb
were covered with globs of my semen.

When I could speak again, she asked me if I liked the
taste or not and I confessed that I had not held up my
end of the bargain. She asked if I was afraid of it. I
told her that I was not afraid of it; it was just that
I had lost the desire to. She began whining and said
that the thought of me cleaning myself up was so
beautiful to her that she did not think she could cum
unless I ate it all.

After some persuading, she convinced me to gather it
all on my index finger and thumb and to just do it for
her. She instructed me to not just clog my nose, throw
it all in, and swallow. She told me that she wanted me
to enjoy it, to try to describe the taste for her. I
politely obliged. I slowly licked nearly half of my
load on the first swipe. I rolled it around my tongue
for a few moments, tasted the saltiness of it and not
much more. I asked her for permission to swallow it
and she allowed me to.

She asked me if I had liked it or not. I responded
with the fact that it certainly was not the worst
tasting stuff in the world. I followed that up with a
few minutes of discussion regarding the texture and
the feelings I had as it slid across my tongue and
down my throat. I finished cleaning my hand and talked
to her about other ways we could act upon this fetish.
Upon hearing all this, it was her turn to orgasm and
writhe in ecstasy.

That was the last time I was able to eat my own cum on
my own. We have talked during foreplay about it, I
have talked to her about licking my cum off her
beautiful breasts, I have made deals with her that if
I cum before her I will gladly finish her orgasm by
eating my cum from inside her, and I have told her
that I would love to make out after a blowjob, trading
my cum between her mouth and mine. And every time,
without fail, I lose the courage to follow through
once I begin to orgasm. We chuckle and shrug it off as
if it is no big deal.

Anyone else with this fantasy knows that it is indeed
a big deal. Sometimes, it is all we can think about. I
find myself obsessing over it mentally during the day.
We talked about all this, my frustration, different
ways we could enjoy it… my personal favorite is the
thought of tying me to the bed and 69’ing. The first
one to orgasm gets to eat my cum. However, all the
talking we had done never amounted to anything more
than talk. After a year and a half, I had kind of
given up hope and quit talking about this fantasy.

Then, one evening over a candle light dinner, I
brought the subject up again. I told her that once I
started to cum, I would chicken out and lose all
desire to eat it. I practically begged her over our
table to feed it to me. She said she completely
understood my feelings and that even though she would
love to share this with me, she was not going to force
me to do something I could not bring myself to do.

I said to her, it is obviously a desire I had and I
was asking her to do this for me. I continued by
saying, “I am asking you now, before we get to the
bedroom, that whatever happens tonight, I want you to
feed me my cum and I beg you to not allow me to
chicken out.” I made her a deal at that moment, that
we wouldn’t talk about it anymore, she would
understand that after I began to cum there was no way
I would ask her to feed me my cum, and that she would
just do it.

When we finally reached the bedroom, she gently laid
me down on the bed and removed my clothing. My pants
got on my penis as she pulled them down, haphazardly
flinging my erect member to the side. She undressed in
the dark, light pouring in through the d****s and
dancing off her beautiful body. I could clearly make
out her nipples, puffy and swollen, calling out to me.
I could see her sweet pussy dampened, dripping at the
thought of our dinner conversation. She slid over my
cock, which was straining with desire, gently brushing
the shaft with her breasts.

I could have easily came at the slightest breeze. She
laid down beside, grabbed a cock ring and slowly
rolled it down the length of my penis, lingering for
just a moment with my aching head in her hand. She
kissed me sweetly and asked me to masturbate for her.
I gladly obliged, slowly pulling and tugging on my
throbbing penis which was begging for sweet release.
After nearly a minute, she told me that she would like
to know when I was going to come so she could catch it
in her hand.

I knew I could not take the agony much longer. Within
thirty seconds I was ready to cum. True to her word,
she cupped her hand over the head of my penis as I
began to come. The tension of dreaming of this moment
for so long, the sexual build up throughout the day
and the conversation at dinner resulted in what seemed
like a massive load of semen. I filled her hand and
some slid out, down the side of my penis, resting on
my shaved pubic region.

Without saying a word, she brought her hand to my
mouth. I had my mouth open; awaiting the sweet reward
we had talked so much about. She opened her hand and
let my cum slide into my mouth. My cum hit my tongue,
tasting sweet and salty. It flowed over my tongue and
throughout my mouth, coming to rest in the back,
waiting to be swallowed. I savored the moment, trying
to memorize it. I wanted to remember the smells, the
tastes, the feelings; for surely, this was altogether
the kinkiest and hottest thing I had ever done.

She smiled at me, reached down to my quickly
shriveling penis, scooped up the cum we had spilled,
brought her finger between our mouths and asked if I
wanted to lick it with her. We began to lick her
finger together, our tongues chasing my cum up and
down and back and forth between our mouths.

It was truly an amazing night.