My apartment manager Alecia was crying again. Usually she waits until she
gets into her apartment before she starts up, but this time I saw her wiping
a tear from her face as she walked across our shared porch on the second
floor.
I wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t been in my living room sipping hot
chocolate. But as it was, I just happened to have my window open to let
some sunshine in when Alecia walked past toward her manager’s apartment. I
looked up just as her hand went up to her face to rub under her right eye.
She didn’t even think to look into my apartment like she usually does, and I
think that’s when I knew something was seriously wrong. I got up from my
couch and quickly walked to the door. I opened the door and peeked out onto
the porch just as Alecia got to her door.
“Alecia!” I called to her. She turned around to look, then quickly turned
her gaze downward. “Come over for a bit?” I invited.
She hesitated at first, her key still in her door. Then she pulled the key
out of the lock and sulked her way over to my apartment. I opened my door
wider to let her in. I offered her a cigarette, which she took as she
flopped onto my couch. I sat down next to her.
We spent a moment just sitting there as she lit up and took in a few deep
draws. I looked at her as she stared straight out the window with a look
somewhere between acrid bitterness and broken hopelessness. I finally had
to break the silence.
“Gary again?” I suggested.
The mention of her husband’s name lifted her out of her silence. “I don’t
know why I even bother any more,” she said, shaking her head.
I used to try talking her out of her little moods, but it never seemed to do
any good. Lately, I had just let her keep venting. Alecia seemed to like
this idea better too. She spent the next twenty minutes and three
cigarettes pouring out every one of Gary’s relationship indiscretions.
Finally, she ended her tirade by repeating herself. “I don’t know why I
even bother any more.”
I ventured a hand on Alecia’s shoulder. I worried about her on a daily
basis, wondered what was happening behind her closed door and her closed
expressions. It was hard to watch her go through her relationship
struggles, harder still because she lived so close to me, even harder still
because we had gotten so close since I first moved two doors down from her.
Every time she cried, my insides did a sympathetic twist for her.
Just as she seemed to finally relax a bit, she crushed her cigarette out on
the ashtray. “I have to ge back to my apartment,” she said. “Someone’s
coming for a viewing in a few minutes.” Our eyes locked for an eternal
second, then she got up and headed for the door. I followed.
Alecia put her hand on the doorknob, but she visibly hesitated before
opening the door. I caught her gaze again, and this time she didn’t look
away quite so fast. I could almost feel the question before she said it.
“Shahli, could you kiss me?” she stammered. “It’s just been so long since
Gary and I….”
I gently brought a finger to her lips to silence her. Her soft lips stayed
parted as she looked from my eyes to my mouth, then back up. I didn’t need
to answer, and she didn’t need to ask twice. I closed my eyes and leaned
forward to let my lips touch where my finger had just been.
I pursed my lips as I came in contact with Alecia. I felt her take in a
sharp breath and pull back just a bit, but just as I thought she was going
to pull away, she leaned closer and started to kiss back. I opened up my
mouth to suck in her lip, then let my hand linger on her neck. She kissed
back as much as she dared, going behind her husband’s back and finally
letting our friendship take on a new dimention.
As heavenly as it was, kissing Alecia didn’t last more than half a minute,
but it was just enough. Alecia mouthed a thank you before opening the door
and paused for a split second before quickly walking away toward her
apartment. I stared after her until she got to her door and I saw, just as
I thought I might, a look back from Alecia before she unlocked her apartment
and went inside to prepare for her afternoon appointment.
I closed my door and walked into my bathroom down the hall. I caught my
reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror, looking back at eyes that had a
strange new glow to them. I smile slightly, then touched my lips and smiled
wider. The kiss may have been the last, or the first of many, but at the
very least I had helped Alecia, even if only for a moment.
I ran a fingertip over my lips in memory one last time before I sat on the
couch and pulled a blanket over myself. The apartment seemed just a little
warmer that afternoon.