Karen. My cousin. Sweet flesh of my flesh. She has
entered my dreams so often, I smell her in the soft
folds of her slips and the humid little panties I snatch
from her laundry. She is beautiful in a way that defies
my understanding. Desirable and magnetic beyond my will
to resist her. Tiny and bright like a bird.
I’ve watched her, through half closed eyes, move naked
through a morning bedroom. A little boy with an itchy
bone struggling against a starched cotton sheet. I’ve
watched as she dressed in the grey, dim, morning light.
The entire spectacle. Her lush, heart-shaped ass packed
into a tight white panties. Dark nylons slipped over a
pointed toe and soothed up a slim calf. Flesh peeking
from lace. The dark of her nipples huge in a straining
bra.
As a boy, pretending to be asleep in her room, I would
tease the heat between my legs while I watched. As a
boy, I would lie sprawled across her bed after she had
gone and pull my cock into her sweet. Masturbating with
a slow and delicious hand while I remembered the dark
patch of hair that pointed like an arrow down and into
her wide hips.
I realized that I had turned into such a nasty little
child. Sneaking and lurking. Hiding. Waiting to see
something forbidden or to touch something filthy. I
couldn’t help myself, I just couldn’t.
My aunt tells me that she knew what I was up to all
along.
“But you wanted me to know,” she says. “Didn’t you?”
I can only nod and remember the white, watery puddles of
seed that pooled in the cups of her dirty brassieres and
seeped into the dark welts of her fragrant stockings. I
can only moan while she crushes my cock in her fist
until I recall all the nights I spent caressing myself
to exquisite hardness under my robe while she sat a few
scant feet away preoccupied with a late night movie or
poring over a stack of term papers.
*
And years later all I could think of while I drove miles
with Karen beside me was of being here in this room
tonight. Now I’m here in the dark, sitting at the small
round table near the window that overlooks the pool,
typing. My face lit by the pale, blue light of the
computer screen.
She’s in the next room asleep. Just a door separates us
and that door is not locked. It sits open, joining her
room to mine and mine to hers. We are alone. Just us
two. Karen and I alone. No children or husbands or
sisters or brothers or mothers to interrupt the flow of
longing and desire. My cock is trapped in the panties
she wore beneath her slacks today. They are tiny and
white. They are frothy with lace and slick with spandex.
My cousin’s panties glide against my hot boner like
butter on a burn. It’s so hot and so hard with her so
near. I imagine her lips closing over my stiff cock. I
imagine her spreading her legs and offering me her
pussy. I imagine her moaning and sobbing while I feed my
cock into her warm, wet slit. The lips fat and heavy
with want.
I love my cousin because she is my cousin. I wallow in
the implicit filth. It’s my religion. Wanting her cousin
cunt makes my cock leak. It’s leaking now. She is the
culmination of some sacrament that cannot be named. I
want her for my whore-wife. I want to eat her cousin
pussy and fuck her cousin mouth. I want her to love me
for defiling her. But for now, I dream and wish and feel
my love leak into the things that have touched her.
Spilling my scalding seed, murky and muggy, into her
panties like an adolescent boy again.
I went into her room tonight. Not more than half an hour
ago. I stood in the doorway between the two rooms for
what seemed like forever. My heart pounding. My legs
shaking. My breath ragged in my chest. I was naked and
hard and I could see her from where I stood. She was
asleep, lying on her back, one arm thrown over her face,
the other trailing off the bed and to the floor. Her
breasts rose and fell with her breathing. Her face so
soft and luminous in the darkness.
I stood and watched and squeezed my cock in my fist,
pulling and milking, building my arousal, drinking her
in as my cock-tip drooled down its shaft making
squishing sounds as my hand traveled up and down, up and
down.
The sense of transgression and trespass I felt when I
stepped across the threshold and into her world was
profound and unbearably erotic. I haven’t been alone
with her like this since I was a boy and she was a
teenager. Breathing her air and moving hard and naked
through the space that she occupied evoked memories and
feelings that shuddered through the twisted, pumping
stick of meat between my legs. I felt them as if they
we’re new again. I experienced them as something
deliciously unexpected and wanton. I felt that horrible
surprise I felt so long ago when I realized that my
cousin Karen’s nakedness could make my cock hard.
I found the panties she’d worn that day and inhaled the
thick, sour smell of her cunt. I drew the crotch into my
mouth and tasted her piss and drizzle. I fingered her
bra and pressed kisses into the cups that had touched
her huge, dark nipples. I drooled and remembered and
longed into those cups. Strings of warm spit drooling
from my lips while I feasted on Karen’s nipple scent and
teat taste.
I stood inches away from her and touched her with my
eyes. Her breasts lolled and swelled under the white
nylon nightgown she wore. So achingly beautiful that I
yanked at my cock and guided it to them and touched them
with the hot tip until it drooled onto the cool fabric.
It burned like sugar to feel my cock against Karen’s
teats. It made me want to drop to my knees and kiss her
long and deep, one hand between her legs, stroking and
petting her to a perfect wetness. A yielding wetness. A
wetness made to accept the blunt head of her loving
cousin’s cock.
While she slept, I touched my stiff meat to the bare
skin of her arm. I dragged it from her shoulder to her
elbow, leaving a trail of slime as the plum tip stung
and itched against her warm and, flawless flesh. If she
had opened her eyes at that moment, I’d have told her
that I loved her more than anyone I’d ever loved in my
life. Then I would have pressed that lewd, leaky pole
that sputtered below my belly to her lips and begged her
to take me into her mouth and love me as much as I loved
her, if only for this one time.
“Karen,” I would have moaned. “God, Karen. Please. No
one has to know. Just eat my cock and love me. Just
swallow me and let me fatten and slime in your mouth
until you can feel how desperately I need you.”
I sat silent by the side of her bed and wriggled into my
cousin’s little panties. I watched my cock strain
against them. The taut skin of my erection blossoming
through the lace like fleshy and venomous flowers. I
reached inside and jacked myself off while I looked into
her placid, sleeping face. I brushed my lips against her
hair and came in my cousin’s white panties. Came hard
and then crept away.