There are two things that we Turkish “guest workers” in
Germany long to have. A Mercedes car (which most of us
manage to obtain, if we get decent work), and a blue-eyed
blonde haired voluptuous white girlfriend.
I hadn’t yet achieved either of these great goals when I
met Heidi.
She was the daughter of a man I was working for, doing
electrical installation work. She was nearly perfect; she
was all of the things I stated above, with a wonderful
clear white skin. But she was about 10 years older than
me. I was 23 at the time.
I didn’t expect to have a chance with her, but I asked
her out anyway. I’d had enough of working for her father
by then; I knew that taking his daughter out was not
something that would make my boss very happy with me. He
was a bigot, and miserable to work for. The only reason I
worked for him at all was because he was willing to hire
me even though I had not been able to get an
electrician’s license, and being a shady building
contractor, he didn’t care.
My father had told me to stay away from the white girls.
“They are all whores, son. When the time comes, your
mother and I will find you a nice Turkish girl to marry.”
He’d told me.
I was born in Germany, I grew up here. But in this place,
if your parents were foreigners, you’re a foreigner. And
no one lets you ever forget it.
It was true, the white girls in school seemed to change
their boyfriends more often than their socks. But I
didn’t think they were even having sex yet, and “whore”
was definitely much too strong a word.
I was very proud and nervous to be going out with Heidi.
I wished all my friends could see me with such a
beautiful woman. But I was very afraid of the racists
that were running around at the time.
Heidi lived in her father’s house, having divorced a man
she had married when she was younger.
*
I kissed her goodnight after our first date, and I slept
with a hard on. I was still a virgin.
On our second date, I held her hand most of the night,
and we started to kiss halfway through the movie. I took
her home with me, telling her to be very quiet, because I
lived with my grandmother.
Heidi undressed silently, with laughter in her eyes. She
had the body of a Playboy model, and I couldn’t believe
my luck.
We sat on the edge of the bed together, naked, kissing
and fondling for a while.
She pushed me onto my back, and went down on me. The
first orgasm I ever had not of my own making was into her
pretty pink mouth.
Her long white hands roamed over my balls and ass, her
long, painted fingernails traced across my exposed flesh.
Her red lipstick contrasted with her blue eyes and blonde
hair in a wonderful way, making her head an explosion of
color. Forcing an explosion of come from my cock.
She lay back on my bed afterwards, spreading herself. Her
legs were long, her feet dainty. Her hips were
wonderfully slim, and her belly was flat. I could see her
pink vagina showing clearly through her blonde bushy
pubic hairs, and she directed my mouth to taste its
nectar.
And when I entered her for the first time, I knew why God
had made me a man. It was only for this; to push my cock
into this beautiful white woman, to share the ecstasy of
love with her.
Heidi was every young man’s fantasy. She was older than
I, and had already been married; she had probably been
having sex since I was eight years old. But it only added
to the allure of her in my eyes at that moment. Heidi was
a prize greater than I had ever hoped for.
I had never known it was possible for my cock to be so
hard; I had masturbated, but I’d never known the
incredible exhilaration of real sex. The sensation of her
silky flesh against my body, the incredible pride of
being the source of such a woman’s arousal.
By the time she came, I was in love. The feeling of Heidi
in my arms, her incredible body tensing with orgasm was a
sensation impossible to equal. To stare into her blue
eyes while pumping my seed into her body was to become
forever addicted to her.
We were both well into our adult years, but we snuck
around like children. She left me during the night and
went home.
I felt apprehension as I went into the office next day;
but when Heidi saw me her face lit up, and I saw a gleam
appear in her eyes; I knew all was well.
We were lovers for several months before she moved in
with me. I was worried about how she would get along with
my grandmother, but the old woman loved Heidi like a
daughter.
My father was not happy to hear that I was living in sin
with a German girl, but he had retired and moved back to
Turkey, so he didn’t have much to say about it.
It was a large rent-controlled apartment in Berlin, and
when my grandmother died I inherited the lease, as I was
registered at the address. The apartment was and is my
one great material asset. When my grandmother moved in 30
years ago, it was the worst part of town, near the wall.
Since the wall came down, the area is now one of the most
desired neighborhoods in the city.
*
My older brother, Ahmed, had had a traumatic experience.
His young pregnant wife had been killed in an explosion
at the Turkish cultural center. A neo-Nazi terrorist
attack.
He had slipped into a depression so deep that he had been
unable to work for months, and had lost his job, and was
being evicted from his own apartment. My uncle told me
that I must let him stay with me until he recovered
himself.
Heidi and I had been so happy together, and things had
been improving for us financially since we both worked
and had low rent. I had even managed, with Heidi’s help,
to maneuver my way through the jungle of German
bureaucracy, and obtain my electrician’s license.
My poor brother was so miserable, it was hard not to be
affected. But we persevered, and we tried to cheer him up
when we could. He didn’t cost very much to keep, since he
was hardly eating. But it was hard for Heidi to
understand that I had no choice in the matter; perhaps a
German man could throw his brother out onto the street,
or into an institution. But for a man coming from my
culture, it would be easier to cut off one’s own head.
It was around New Years, and my brother had been with us
for about three months, when Heidi told me she was
pregnant.
I was overjoyed, I was filled with excitement; I couldn’t
believe how lucky I was. A child, perhaps a son of my
own, a child with my beautiful Heidi!
“But Kalik, how can we have a child with your brother
here?”
“What do you mean, Heidi? We have enough room.”
“It’s not that, it’s the way he is. How can we have a
baby in the house with a manic depressive? It wouldn’t be
good for the child.”
“We’ve tried everything, Heidi. The doctors say he is
improving, they say the healing process will just take
time.”
“I know, Kalik, I know. I was willing to wait, but now I
think we’re going to have to do something to help the
healing process along.”
“Like what?”
“I think he just needs to get laid. I could fix him up
with one of my girlfriends.”
I considered the proposal, and we talked it over for some
time. It might help to snap him out of it; on the other
hand, if it didn’t work out, it could make things worse.
What if the woman rejected him? Still, in the end, we
decided to give it a try.
We didn’t tell Ahmed, of course; he’s a very proud man.
Heidi invited one of her girlfriends over for dinner with
us; Heidi told her friend Gertrude about Ahmed, and asked
her if she could help. Heidi can be very persuasive, and
Gertrude agreed to at least meet him. Thank God we never
told Ahmed about our little plan; Gertrude was not
interested in him at all.
“Please Gertrude, please.” Heidi said to her in the
kitchen, “look at what a handsome man Ahmed is; think of
how much he needs your help.”
“I’m sorry, Heidi. He’s just too…glum. I can’t do it.”
We even thought about hiring a woman. But that was an
even worse idea, I thought. My brother still had some
Islamic thoughts running through his befuddled brain; if
he found out that we had hired a prostitute for him, who
knows what his reaction would be?
Finally, late one night in the privacy of our bed, Heidi
made the strangest suggestion.
“Maybe I should seduce him.”
“What? Are you mad?”
“Think about it, Kalik. No woman will go with him while
he’s like that. But a woman is what he needs in order to
snap out of it, don’t you think? He needs some love; he
needs to be held in a woman’s arms, he needs some real
affection to help him get over the lose of his
girlfriend. In the state he’s in, he barely seems to
notice that we love him. I’m sure I could reach him; but
it’s going to take more than words. I’m going to have to
love him physically; then he might feel something.”
My father had told me that the German people had
different attitudes to physical love than we did, but I
didn’t realize how far that went. I was amazed that Heidi
could suggest that she sleep with my brother as if it was
nothing more important than cooking or washing his
clothes.
The idea appalled me, but I wanted to be “modern” and
“European”. If this was how it was done here, then I
should get used to the idea. And after all, Ahmed was my
brother.
“I’m not convinced, Heidi. The doctor didn’t say anything
about Ahmed needing a girlfriend.”
“You thought it was a perfectly good idea when I
suggested that Gertrude do it.”
“Yes.”
“So what do you think Gertrude has that I don’t have? Do
you think she can offer your brother more than I can?”
“Gertrude is single. She could offer Ahmed the
possibility of a relationship.”
“Come now, Kalik. A girl like Gertrude could never get
along with someone like Ahmed. Gertrude is a good time
girl, she loves to go out to discos and drink beer. The
only thing she had to offer Ahmed was a night or two of
comfort. A sympathetic ear and a soft touch. He’s your
brother, Kalik. We have to help him.”
“I thought you just wanted him out of here before the
baby comes.”
“I do want that. But I want Ahmed to be well, to be able
to take care of himself once more. What happened to him
was terrible, but he’s a big strong man, perfectly able
to work. He just needs to be set straight again.”
I don’t know how it was that I finally agreed, I must
have been mad. All I can say is, Heidi can be a very
persuasive woman. I had never been able to make her do my
bidding the way my countrymen feel that a woman should.
We agreed on most things, but Heidi has a mind of her
own; and she had more experience than I had in life, as
well.
So, the following evening, when Ahmed went to his room,
Heidi went to his bedroom door and knocked softly. She
watched my expression coolly as Ahmed opened the door.
“Ahmed, may I come in?”
I couldn’t hear his reply, but I saw Heidi step into his
bedroom, closing the door behind her.
My heart was on fire, and I was filled with conflicting
emotions. I would do anything to help my brother, but
this was going very far. I was in torment; I wanted to
know what was going on, I had to know if it was really
happening.
I tried to think of a way; I could listen at the door.
But what if someone suddenly opened it? They would
discover me there. Then I remembered; in the kitchen,
above the refrigerator, there was an old ventilation hole
hidden behind a picture. It opened into Ahmed room, I had
never gotten around to repairing it. With the lights out
in the kitchen, they wouldn’t be able to tell I was
there. If either Heidi or Ahmed were to come out of
Ahmed’s room, I would have a few seconds to climb down.
*
“Why are you here? You’re my brother’s woman, you must
go.” Said Ahmed.
“It’s all right. He knows I’m here, he’s given us his
blessing.” Said Heidi, softly.
“You told him? Oh my God, you told him everything? I will
die of shame, how could I have done this? My own
brother.”
They sat next to each other on the bed; my big brother
was holding his head in his hands, and Heidi’s arm was
around his shoulders.
“I didn’t tell him everything. But I asked his
permission, and he said I could stay with you tonight.”
Heidi told him.
What didn’t she tell me? Then I heard a rushing in my
ears, and I felt a wave of nausea wash over me; she had
already been with him.
“He said. it was all right? Kalik would share you with
me?”
“Yes. He was sitting right there in the living room when
I knocked on your door. He knows I’m here.”
“What kind of a man is my brother? What kind of a man am
I?”
“Good men, Ahmed.” Heidi told him. “Caring and loving
men, just below the surface.”
“But Heidi, you know that I can’t. If I could do it for
any woman, surely I could do it for you, Heidi. But you
saw what happened; I can’t.”
“Oh Ahmed, don’t be silly. I don’t care about the
mechanics. I want to stay with you tonight, I want to
hold you in my arms again. That was nice, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Your penis will work again one day. It doesn’t matter if
it’s today, tomorrow, or next year.”
So. They hadn’t actually done it, then. It was a great
relief to me, even though I had somehow given my
permission for them to do so now. Even though they
clearly had tried to betray me, my brother had been
unable to do so.
My big brother Ahmed started to cry.
“That’s okay, Ahmed. There’s only you and me here, you
can trust me. There, there.”
Heidi pulled Ahmed’s head to her breasts, and stroked his
face while he cried uncontrollably.
She made soft, cooing, comforting noises, and I saw his
arms had encircled her body. They stayed in that position
for some minutes, and then I saw that Heidi was
unbuttoning her blouse with her free hand. I saw Ahmed
caress my woman’s breast with his fingers. She stretched
her neck downwards, to kiss him on the lips. Then she
freed her large white breast from her bra, and held my
brother’s face to her pink nipple.
She rocked him, and he suckled her like a baby. I could
see her face clearly; she didn’t look excited by this,
but she wore the most serene smile. I found myself
thinking that she would be the most excellent mother for
our coming child.
“Baby, baby, baby.” I couldn’t hear her saying, softly.
“It will be all right now.”
After a time, she lifted Ahmed’s head, and she kissed him
again, still cradling him in her arms. They kissed for a
long time, holding each other.
“Tell me about her.” Heidi said, suddenly.
Slowly, Ahmed started to talk. He told Heidi of his wife;
he hadn’t even known her when they were married, she was
brought from a village in Turkey for him. She was a
lovely girl, and after they were married, he came to love
her very much. Of course, she spoke no German when she
arrived in this country, so she was going to classes at
the cultural center. She had been four months pregnant.
It was terrible to see my older brother cry like a baby.
He would have never been able to do that in my presence;
or I suppose, in anyone’s presence. Perhaps he could have
opened himself to our mother that way; but she was dead.
There was only Heidi now.
Heidi was wearing a pair of trousers, but she was naked
from the waist up while Ahmed told his tale, holding both
of his hands in hers, keeping her lovely face close to
his, her big blue eyes never moving from his face. She
leaned forward now, and kissed him lightly once more.
“I’m glad you’ve told me now, Ahmed. I’m glad you’ve
started to talk about her last. You told me she cared for
you; how she tried so hard to make you happy. What do you
think she would want for you now, Ahmed?”
“I don’t know.”
“She would want you to be well. She would want you to
live your life. I only met her once or twice, but I feel
her spirit. She was my sister.”
She kissed my brother once more, running her finger tips
across his face, neck, and shoulders. She began to
unbutton Ahmed’s shirt.
“No.” My brother said, grasping Heidi’s wrists. “This
isn’t right. You’re my brother’s wife, it was wrong last
time. You said it would make me feel better, but I felt
only worse. I know you’re only trying to help me, Heidi.
But go back to Kalik now.”
“It was wrong last time. It’s true.” Said Heidi. “But
this time we have Kalik’s blessing. This time you don’t
have to feel ashamed. I want you to love me, Ahmed; I
know you have it inside you. Make love with me, Ahmed.
Just hold me your arms, kiss me, and let me comfort you.
Please, Ahmed.”
She put her arms around him, put her mouth on his mouth.
Pushed my brother down onto the bed on his back,
straddling his body, pushing her large breasts against
him. His hands went to the small of her back, caressing
her, unable to resist the urge to experience her silky
smooth ivory skin, her voluptuous curves.
She sat up straight, still sitting on his groin. Flicking
her long blond hair to one side, she began to unbuckle
her belt, while dazzling him with her smile.
“Heidi, you’re my sister. This is wrong.” My brother
protested, but only verbally.
“You’re in my country now, Ahmed. You let me decide
what’s right and what’s wrong here.”
She lifted herself up onto her knees, and pulled her
trousers down to her thighs. She sat back against his
knees and lifted her feet, removing her trousers
completely. She was dressed only in her panties now, her
long white body naked for my brother. She stretched
herself out full-length on top of him, and took his head
between her palms, once more kissing him on the mouth.
I watched my brother’s hands move up and down the length
of my woman’s body, her naked back and shoulders, her
hips, her ass.
I couldn’t find fault with him. He had done his best to
resist her; but in his weakened state, what chance did he
have against Heidi?
I saw her hips gyrating from side to side.
“Yes, baby, yes.” She said to him, “let mamma love you.
Let me be your woman tonight. I want you, Ahmed. I want
to be yours tonight. You’ve been through the so much,
Ahmed; you deserve this.”
She shifted her body to one side, off of his, and I saw
her hand go to his groin; I saw her stroking his hard
penis through his trousers.
“It’s getting hard, Ahmed. I want to hold it. I want to
hold it in my hands again. This time, Ahmed, I don’t want
you to feel ashamed. It’s the right thing; it’s a good
thing. You have a beautiful penis, Ahmed. May I? Please
Ahmed, tell me I can have it tonight. Say it, tell me you
want me to.”
“Yes.” My brother told her, barely audibly.
It was enough for Heidi. She unbuckled his belt, unzipped
his trousers, and pulled them down with his underwear as
he lifted his behind to facilitate her.
Heidi’s wonderful long hands caressed my brother’s stiff,
uncircumcised cock. She smiled at him with so much love,
such compassion, that even I felt good about it for a
moment. She lowered her mouth over his dick, opening it
wide and then closing it over his flesh. I saw him
shudder with the sensation.
She didn’t spend a lot of time sucking his cock; the
point was not to make my brother have an orgasm, but to
show him some real affection, to give him a woman’s
comfort. Heidi kissed his belly and his breasts, stroked
him and caressed him, kissed his mouth again. And
finally, Ahmed began to respond; his big hands stroked
and caressed her body in return, he started to return her
passionate kisses. He removed her underwear, and I saw
his finger slip inside of her vagina.
“Oh yes, Ahmed.” Heidi said to this, arching her back and
putting her hand on top of his as he fingered her.
And finally, he moved between her legs, positioning his
hard dick to enter her. She smiled at him with genuine
pleasure and excitement, and held his big hard penis in
her hand as he slowly pushed it into her.
“How does it feel, Ahmed?” She asked him, “Tell me how it
feels to be inside of me.”
“Wonderful, Heidi. It feels wonderful.” My big brother
replied, hoarsely.
“It’s wonderful for me, as well, Ahmed.” She told him.
“You’re such a handsome man, Ahmed. You’re so big and
strong; I’m so happy we could do this together. Don’t
worry, Ahmed. your cock is big and hard, it fills me so
nicely.”
Her words burned me. Of course, she didn’t know I was
listening; Heidi didn’t intend to cause me pain, I knew
that. She was only trying to make my big brother feel
better. Ahmed is older than I., but he is also somewhat
larger than I.
He started to do it. Up-and-down, in and out. How could
this be happening? Why had I agreed to this madness?
Some minutes passed; Ahmed kept pumping up-and-down, in
and out of my woman. Heidi was whispering something in
his ear, and stroking his back.
Then he slowed down, and stopped.
“I’m sorry, Heidi.” He said.
“That’s all right, Ahmed.” Said Heidi softly, “It was
much longer than last time. It was nice, and next time it
will be better. Thank you for letting me be with you
tonight.”
*
I spent a lonely sleepless night, alone in the bed that I
normally shared with Heidi. In the morning, I went back
into the kitchen. My woman and my brother had not yet
come out from Ahmed’s room. I stood on the chair next to
the refrigerator once more, and carefully pulled the
picture away from the vent hole.
They were awake. Heidi’s luscious blond head was resting
on my older brother’s shoulder, as her fingers toyed with
his chest hairs. They were speaking quietly.
“Those are all normal emotions, Ahmed.” Heidi was saying,
“Of course you feel rage. You want to avenge Jasmine’s
murder, and there’s no way you can. That’s made you feel
helpless, and its normal that you get depressed. No one
can bring your wife back, Ahmed. All we can do is offer
you what comfort we can.”
I set the coffee machine and went out to get some fresh
bread for our breakfast, while Heidi continued to offer
comfort to my brother. When I returned, they still had
not emerged. I looked again;
Ahmed was pounding Heidi at a furious rate. His ass was a
blur moving up and down between her long white legs. Her
eyes were shut, but her hands grasped his buttocks,
pulling him into herself again and again.
“Yes, Ahmed. Yes, yes.” Heidi was whispering.
“What a man you are, Ahmed.” She continued, “your cock is
like steel, it fills me up, it feels so good, Ahmed. You
know how to please a woman, Ahmed! Yes, yes!”
She was coming, I could tell. It was both wonderful and
terrible for me to see; it was good to see my brother
actually functioning at something at last. But why did it
have to be Heidi? And the sight of my beloved Heidi in
the throes of orgasm is always the most pleasing and
erotic sight; but why did it have to be in the arms of my
brother? And shame of shames, the sight of their passion
was causing me to have an erection.
“Good God, Heidi!” Hissed Ahmed, “You’re the most
beautiful woman alive! The most wonderful woman. Heidi, I
think I can, oh Heidi!”
His motion stopped, and he held himself deep within my
woman as he ejaculated. Heidi held him tight, both her
arms and both her legs wrapped around my brother, a most
wonderful smile on her face.
But the strangest thing about this was my own feelings; I
was shocked to discover that I felt glad about it. Glad
for Ahmed; as I saw and heard, he had been unable before,
but my wonderful and loving Heidi had now brought him to
orgasm; probably his first since the atrocity. If she had
been able to do so much for him in this short time, then
my sacrifice was worthwhile.
Heidi came out for breakfast about ten minutes later,
followed shortly by Ahmed. Things were a little tense
around the breakfast table. No one seemed to know what to
say.
“You’d better get ready, Heidi. You’ll be late for work.”
I told her. She had a job as a graphic artist [she
stopped working for her father when she moved in with
me]. She was still in her morning robe, and her hair was
a mess.
“I’ve called in sick, Kalik. I want to spend the day with
Ahmed. You go along to work, and we’ll see you in the
evening.”
I couldn’t believe it; they had spent the whole night
together, they had sex twice that I knew of. Well,
perhaps one and a half times. Heidi must have sensed my
feelings, because she followed me into our bedroom when I
went in to get my work boots.
“Don’t worry, darling.” She said to me, holding my hands
in hers and looking into my eyes; “Your brother is doing
better now, I think. I want to stay with him today and
make sure he doesn’t start feeling bad about last night.
I think it’s working, Kalik, and soon your brother will
be back with us.”
I left for my job, feeling slightly reassured; but a
couple of things bothered me. Heidi had said she thought
“it’s working”, not “it worked”. And I thought the idea
was not so much to get my brother back with us, as to get
him away from us. Not that I didn’t love my brother, but
Heidi had given me the impression that the point of all
of this was so that he could be independent, and we could
have our privacy. Everything seemed to be backwards.
*
I was looking forward to making love with Heidi that
evening. Somehow, I needed to prove myself to her. I
needed to prove that I wasn’t jealous [even though I
was], I needed to show her that I could love her too. I
sat naked in our bed, watching her at her dressing table;
she was dressed in a see-through blue negligee, brushing
her beautiful blond hair. Then she dabbed on a touch of
perfume; my cock twitched in anticipation as she
approached our bed, bent down and kissed me.
“Darling, I’m going to spend the night with Ahmed again.”
She told me. “It’s working so well, I don’t think I
should stop now. It makes me feel so good to be able to
help your brother, Kalik. Just think of all those stupid
therapists he’s been seeing! They never did anything for
him at all.” She kissed me again briefly, and slipped out
the door. I had been unable to think of anything to say;
I had been too stunned.
I can’t logically explain my need to know exactly what
was going on in Ahmed’s room. But emotions have little to
do with logic.
I quickly and quietly slipped into the kitchen, and once
more pulled the picture out of the way above the
refrigerator.
My brother was in his bed, with the covers up to his
chest; Heidi was lying next to him, but outside the
cover. She was stroking his face with her fingers, and
they were speaking quietly.
“You must return to Kalik, Heidi.” Ahmed said, “It isn’t
right that you neglect him.”
“But I want to be with you tonight, Ahmed.” Heidi told
him, “Kalik doesn’t mind.”
“Two nights in a row; that wouldn’t be fair, Heidi. Go
now, go back to Kalik.”
“Can we be together tomorrow, then?” She asked him,
kissing him lightly on the mouth.
“Yes, Heidi. If Kalik says it’s alright, we can be
together tomorrow.”
She stood up, her breasts moving the front of her
negligee around in the way that would give a hardon to a
corpse. She held his hand for a moment, and looked back
at him with longing.
“Goodnight then, Ahmed.” She said, and moved to the door.
I got down from my perch, and slipped quickly into the
toilet. I flushed it, so everything would look normal,
before returning to my bedroom. Heidi was sitting on the
bed, the negligee barely covering her blond furry groin,
her nipples protruding from the front.
I pretended to look surprised.
“I thought you were going to sleep with Ahmed tonight.” I
told her.
“He’s feeling quite well, so I decided he didn’t need
me.” Heidi told me, before standing to meet me in the
middle of the room, embracing me, and kissing me just as
she had kissed my brother one minute earlier.
As our tongues met, and our saliva mixed, I wondered how
much of Ahmed’s oral fluids were mixed with hers.
She wanted sex; but I was angry with her. I didn’t want
to play second fiddle. I didn’t want to make love with
Heidi only because Ahmed had rejected her. I tried to
push her away, but she was persistent; no man could
resist her. Not Heidi, not when she was in that mood, not
in that powder blue negligee.
“Kalik, Kalik.” She whispered in my ear, “Yes, Kalik yes!
Don’t stop now, Kalik! Your cock is like steel, you feel
me up. You’re so handsome, Kalik, you’re so big and
strong. Yes Kalik, yes!”
Well, at least she didn’t say “Ahmed” instead of “Kalik”.
For the next month, Heidi spent alternate nights with
Ahmed and I. The strange thing about it is that Heidi and
I were having more sex than we had had since the first
month we lived together, and Ahmed was also making love
with her; I had no idea that Heidi had such a large
appetite for sex. I think that having two lovers somehow
kept it more exciting for her.
The difference in my brother was profound; he was still
upset at the death of his beloved wife, but he was able
to function once more. He was working again, and that was
as important for him emotionally as financially.
Heidi loved to tell me how good it made her feel to be
able to help my brother. It wasn’t clear to me that he
still needed her; I thought it was time for him to find
his own woman now. But I didn’t want to say anything; I
didn’t want Heidi to think I was small-minded.
I didn’t feel that she liked Ahmed better than I. I no
longer had the feeling that she preferred to sleep with
him; she loved me as much as before. And yet, it was
clear that she truly enjoyed spending nights with my
older brother, as well. And for myself, I couldn’t even
complain. There was more love between Heidi and I than
ever, both physically and emotionally.
Sometimes, in the evening after dinner, we all sat
together in front of the TV in the living room. She liked
to lie across both our laps, or kiss one of us while
holding the hand of the other. Was it possible that Heidi
was woman enough for two men?
Her friend Gertrude came for dinner again one night.
There was a football game on, so the girls were in the
kitchen talking while Ahmed and I watched TV. I was
heading for the kitchen to get some drinks for us, and I
couldn’t resist eavesdropping for a moment;
“Too late, Gertie, too late.” Heidi was saying. “You
should have gone for him while you had the chance.”
“Oh I couldn’t, Heidi.” Gertrude said, “He was in a
terrible state.”
“Well, now that I have him all shiny eyed and healthy, I
think I want to keep him.”
“Heidi! What about Kalik? Have you dumped him?”
“No, of course not. Why would I do that? Kalik is a
wonderful man.”
“Oh, Heidi! It’s not true! You’re sleeping with both of
them? Good God!”
Heidi giggled, and whispered conspiratorially to her
friend; “It’s wonderful. I’ve never been so happy in my
life! They’re both absolute darlings.”
“Oh, Heidi! You’re so naughty! I can’t believe it; I
can’t even find one man, and you have two! Of course,
they are Turkish. I suppose two Turkish men must be worth
one German.”
“I don’t like that kind of talk Gertrude! If you want to
stay my friend, I never want to hear you speak like that
again.” Heidi said, angrily.
“I’m sorry, Heidi. I was only joking. Don’t take it so
seriously!”
Gertrude said. “It’s only jealousy talking.”
I had never considered the possibility that Heidi
intended to just carry on like this.
Finally, I spoke to her about it. It was February, and
the nights were long and dark.
“Ahmed is well enough now, Heidi. I think you should
leave him alone, and let him find his own feet.”
“What do you mean, ‘leave him alone’? Do you think I’m
harassing him or something? He looks fine on the surface,
Kalik, but he’s still very sensitive. Ahmed’s pain runs
very, very, deep. He needs me, Kalik.”
Perhaps it was true. How would I know? But I also knew
that Heidi was enjoying herself tremendously. But then,
why shouldn’t she enjoy herself? Would it be better if
she was doing the same exact thing, but was miserable
about it? That wouldn’t work anyway. It was only by
having a genuine affection for Ahmed that she could help
him. And if she had a genuine affection for him, and they
were making love, why shouldn’t she enjoy it? I was so
confused.
*
Spring came, and summer. Heidi’s figure stayed remarkably
slim until about April. And even then, she was as lovely
as ever. And as loving.
My relationship with my brother, although strained
sometimes, remained remarkably good. Sometimes, we worked
at the same job [Ahmed is a plumber]. We shared Heidi
between us, and no one could say who loved who more, or
less.
With the low rent we had, and the high demand for skilled
labor in Berlin at the time, we were doing very well.
Heidi decided to stop working until after she had the
baby.
It was my turn to be with Heidi one evening, and we were
lying together in bed. We had not overtly decided to, but
somehow we had stopped screwing since the baby had
started to kick. I knew that Ahmed was still doing it
with her, and that was all right with me. I still used to
watch them from time to time, and I saw how careful they
were.
“I was at the doctor today, Kalik.” Heidi said, “And he
told me he was absolutely sure I’m not due until
October.”
“We thought you were already due in June.” I said.
“October, Kalik. Do you realize the meaning of that?”
I said nothing as the meaning slowly soaked into me. My
world tilted.
“I don’t know who the father is, Kalik. The first time I
slept with your brother, I thought that I was already
pregnant. I didn’t think I needed to take any
precautions.”
“We can have a test done, Heidi. They can do that now.” I
suggested.
“I don’t want it, Kalik. I want my child to have two
fathers. You and Ahmed will both be the father, and both
be the Uncle. What about that, Kalik?”
“I don’t know, Heidi. It could be difficult. You may have
to choose between us.”
My heart was twisting sideways in my chest as I said
that. We were happy so far, and we had never openly
discussed the idea that Heidi and Ahmed now seemed to
have a relationship that ran as deep as Heidi and myself.
But I was being pragmatic; could we really expect this to
last year after year?
“I love you Kalik.” Heidi told me, making my heart soar;
“but I love Ahmed as well. I don’t want to choose between
you, Kalik. I want you both. Can you understand that,
Kalik? I know it’s outrageous, but it’s what I want. Do
you love me that much, Kalik? Do you love me and your
brother enough to let us have it all?”
I spoke with Ahmed the next day. It was time to get all
of this on the table.
“I love Heidi like the earth itself, but she was your
woman first. When the child is born, Kalik, I will go.
Whichever one of us is the biological father, you are the
rightful father. If you say you’re willing to raise this
child as if he is your own, knowing that he may be mine,
then I can leave here in confidence.”
“But what about Heidi? She’s adamant, Ahmed. You know how
she is.”
“Yes, Kalik, I know. But if we’re both strong, and we
insist, she will have to go our way.”
“But Ahmed. I would have everything, and you nothing.”
“Kalik, little brother, we’ve succeeded in doing
something that no one could have thought possible; we
have stayed brothers while sharing a woman. How long can
it go on? Wouldn’t it be better to settle the matter like
men? I’m willing to leave her to you, brother. It’s the
right thing to do.”
“I understand, Ahmed. But I’m afraid for you. What if you
should become… ill again?”
We may have grown up here in Europe, but that didn’t mean
we hadn’t acquired our culture’s sensitivity about mental
illness.
“I had a letter from father yesterday, Kalik. Jasmine had
a sister; this sister, her husband was killed last year
in a road accident. Father has sent a photograph.”
“Ahmed! Do you want to marry this woman?”
“She’s stuck in a small village in Turkey, she’s my
wife’s sister.” He said, “She’s only nineteen years old.
I’m sure it’s what Jasmine would’ve wanted me to do,
Kalik.”
He produced a photograph. It was only head and shoulders,
but the woman had a lovely face; large eyes and thick
hair, clear skin and a fine straight nose. We were still
examining the photograph when Heidi entered the room.
“Who is that?” Heidi asked, examining the image, “She’s a
lovely girl.”
I knew that Ahmed didn’t want me to, not yet, but I told
Heidi of our conversation.
Heidi was very upset at Ahmed’s plans.
“How can you do this to us, Ahmed?”
“Salima is Jasmine’s sister,” Ahmed replied. “It’s what
Jasmine would have wanted.”
“But how can you leave us, to marry a girl you’ve only
ever met once?”
Demanded Heidi.
“She and my wife were very close.” Said Ahmed, “I can’t
leave her there in the village. It was always Jasmine’s
intention that her sister should come live with us here
in Europe.”
Heidi was so angry with Ahmed that she barely spoke him
for the next week. I tried to calm her down, to make
peace in our family; “Heidi, he’s only doing what he
thinks is right. You know he loves you, but he has to do
what he has to do. Ahmed is like that.”
“It’s all the bullshit, Kalik.” Heidi answered. “Arranged
marriages!
How can people go for that in this day and age?”
“It worked very well for him the first time, Heidi. He
loved Jasmine very much, even though he’d never met her
at all before the wedding.”
“Well, that was before he was with me.” Heidi replied.
It took a few days, but eventually, I managed to make
peace between them.
“Heidi, all this cold shoulder treatment isn’t doing any
good. We must show Ahmed that we love him, otherwise how
will he know?”
“He wants to leave us, Kalik. With me eight months
pregnant. I feel betrayed.”
“Do you love Ahmed, Heidi?”
“You know I do. Almost like I love you, Kalik.”
The “almost” was a kind gift.
“If you love him, you must forgive him. Don’t let him go
like this, Heidi. Please, make peace with Ahmed.”
*
Heidi slept with Ahmed that night for the first time in a
week, to my relief. It’s strange to say, because I love
Heidi very much. And I certainly love sharing her bed,
and having sex if she’s not too pregnant. But I also like
my private time alone. I can sit up late with my
computer, writing my short stories and chatting with
people across the world about philosophy, psychology, and
other things that neither Ahmed nor Heidi are very
interested in. Besides, when Heidi’s angry, she can be a
pain. Even if it’s Ahmed she’s angry at.
But mainly I was relieved that the tension in our home
was released; it was like a burden lifted from my
shoulders. Once more, I was surprised to notice how
little it bothered me to share my beloved with my
brother. That’s how accustomed I was to the situation
now.
It was only two days before Ahmed was going to fly out,
so Heidi spent the next night with him as well.
I couldn’t resist, I wanted to know what they would do
for their final evening together; For the first time in
months, I crept back to the hole in the kitchen wall.
They were talking together, mostly. Quietly and
seriously, lying in each other’s arms. It was touching to
see them that way; there was such a genuine affection
between them. I felt sorry that it had to end.
“Promise me you’ll spend some time getting to know this
girl before you jump in over your head.” Said Heidi. “I
don’t agree with it, but I understand the idea; get
married first, fall in love later. But at least make sure
that you like her, Ahmed.”
“Of course, Heidi. Don’t worry, I’m not that stupid. But
in a way, isn’t it the way we came to love each other?
You came to my bed only to comfort me, you told me as
much at the time. It was wonderful and generous of you,
but you didn’t love me. And then, as time went on, that
changed.”
Some minutes later, Ahmed was still talking about
something to do with the village in Turkey, when Heidi
shuffled down and popped his cock into her mouth.
“You don’t have to do that, Heidi.” Said Ahmed.
“I want to, Ahmed.” Heidi replied.
“Please, Heidi. You’ll only make it more difficult for
me.”
“I can’t send you off to Turkey to meet this nineteen-
year-old girl with full balls, Ahmed. I want to taste
your spunk one last time. You wouldn’t deny me that,
would you?”
There was no more resistance from Ahmed, as Heidi gave
him a blow job that must have lasted 15 or 20 minutes.
Each time he was approaching the edge, she’d stop for a
while, and just kiss him while he stroked her swollen
belly. Then she would resume. Finally, he begged her to
let him come. He cried with the power of it, and my woman
swallowed it down.
*
Ahmed phoned every week or so.
Heidi and I were lying in bed, just cuddling and talking,
when Ahmed phoned the second time.
“Hello? Ahmed! It’s so good to hear your voice. How are
you? Yes, we’re both fine. Kalik is in the other room, on
the computer.” Heidi gave me a wink, and toyed with my
cock as she continued to talk to my brother. “Have you
slept with her yet? Ahmed, I really think you should
sleep with her before you marry her. She’s a widow, it’s
not like she’s a virgin or something.
“Yes. Yes. Naked. No, I’m not wearing a thing. I miss you
too, Ahmed. I wish I had your cock in my hand right now.
“Yes. Well, I’d squeeze it and stroke it. I’d hold your
balls, and then lick it.”
And as she described her actions to Ahmed, she performed
them on me.
“Yes. You would?” Heidi giggled, “You wicked man, Ahmed.”
Heidi moved around, and lowered her snatch over my face.
“We’re in a 69 now, Ahmed. I’m sucking your cock, and
you’re licking my clit. It feels wonderful, you know how
I love your tongue.” Heidi listened to what ever Ahmed
was saying, while she bobbed her head up and down over my
penis, licking and sucking on me in the most wonderful
way.
“Can you hear this, Ahmed?” She made slurping sounds by
going down on me again. “That’s my mouth on your dick,
baby. And you’re still licking my clit, and it feels so
good. Yes. All right, I’m turning around now, and I’m
getting ready to put your dick inside of me. You’re just
relaxed, lying on your back on the bed, smiling at me.
Now I’m lowering myself, and your dick is just touching
my private parts. It feels so nice, Ahmed; I just love
the feel of you against me.”
I couldn’t help but smile at Heidi’s excited face, as she
lowered her swollen body down over my dick.
“I’m lowering myself on to you now, Ahmed. It’s wonderful
to feel your cock in me again. I’m stroking your balls.
Does it make you wild, Ahmed?”
It was making me wild. Heidi had been giving me blow
jobs, but we hadn’t made real love for a couple of
months. She said I was too conservative, and that there
was no problem with her having sex at this late stage of
her pregnancy. I’d almost been convinced anyway, so I
just relaxed and let Heidi have her fun.
“I’m rocking back and forth now Ahmed. Your hard cock is
so good inside me; when I rub my clitoris against you, it
makes me feel like I’m going to come. Your hands on my
breasts are warm and loving.”
Taking the hint, I began to fondle Heidi’s swollen
breasts. She was rocking back and forth on top of me
faster and faster.
“Yes Ahmed, yes. I’m going to come, Ahmed. Will you come
with me?
Yes. Really? You are? Really? Oh, Ahmed!”
She really was having an orgasm; she was watching me with
her big blue eyes, and listening to my brother on the
telephone. It was very strange.
“That was really something. I’ve never done that before,”
Heidi said into the phone, “I have to go and pee now.
I’ll call you back in 10 minutes, all right?”
She put the phone down, and was all mine. We rolled over
so I was on top, and I did what I needed to do to bring
myself off. It was good; I was happy to resume loving her
properly. I do love it when Heidi sucks my cock, but it’s
somehow lonely. I like to hold her and kiss her, and I
like our genitals to be joined. And Heidi definitely
likes it too.
She came with me, and it was wonderful.
“I suppose that was about the closest I’ll ever get to
getting the both of you in bed with me at one time.” She
said when we were through, before phoning back Ahmed to
speak of more mundane things.
*
The baby came, an incredible beautiful girl that we named
Jasmine after Ahmed’s dead wife. She has Heidi’s blue
eyes, and the black hair from my family.
Ahmed was away for two months, and one day when I came
home from work, Heidi was in a state of high excitement;
“Ahmed’s coming, Kalik! He’s coming tomorrow!”
She threw her arms around me, she was nearly crying with
joy.
“He’s coming back to us, Kalik! I don’t know if he’ll
stay, but he’s coming back.”
“What about Salima?” They had married several weeks
before.
“She’s coming as well. Ahmed is bringing her to Germany.”
It was unclear at that time whether Ahmed intended to
stay with us indefinitely, or only while he found himself
and his new bride their own home.
She was smaller than I had thought she’d be. And very
slim, too. Salima didn’t look as though she had quite
finished growing yet. She had large very clear eyes, and
thick black hair that hung in waves down to the level of
her small breasts. I greeted her with a kiss on each
cheek, holding her by the forearms, while Heidi threw
herself into Ahmed arms. I was surprised to see him take
her into a close embrace, kissing her in the way that
brothers did not kiss sisters. Surprised since his new
wife was present.
“Salima!” Ahmed said, regarding us, “What are you doing?
This is Kalik! Greet him properly.”
They young girl was blushing beet red, and wouldn’t meet
my eyes. But she took that small step forward, bringing
her body into contact with mine. Her slim arms encircled
me; I hugged her to myself.
“Welcome, Salima.” I told her, “Welcome to our home.”
“Sister.” Salima said to Heidi, before embracing her.
Ahmed had taught his wife only a few words of German
[“sister”, for instance], so I spoke with her in my rusty
Turkish while Ahmed was speaking to Heidi.
She had a sweet voice, and it was pleasant for me to hear
the undiluted language of my parents. The Turkish workers
here in Berlin are a rough lot.
Of course, she and Ahmed were in love with baby Jasmine
immediately.
And when it was time for bed; yes, that’s right. Ahmed
went with Heidi, and Jasmine was expected to sleep with
me.
“I’ve told her, brother. We share everything. I told her
that’s how it’s done here in Europe. We’ll have to tell
her that that’s only how we do it in Europe; but for now,
that’s what I told her. I told her if she wants to be my
wife, then she must be the wife of Kalik also. And I told
her that I love her; but that I also love Heidi. I don’t
know if this is going to work, Kalik; but if it does,
life will be very good!” And he gave me a hug that nearly
broke my ribs. “Do your best little brother. If you can
make her happy, perhaps we can have everything.”
*
It was very awkward at first. Jasmine seemed to be
waiting for instructions. I had never played the macho
man, but I decided to give it a try.
I took her in my arms, and kissed my brothers wife for
the first time in a romantic way. She was so sweet and
small, and I had never been with someone so young. I was
a virgin when I met Heidi, and had never been with anyone
else.
She responded with surprising passion, and we stood in my
bedroom together for quite some time, exploring each
other.
“Undress for me, Salima.” I instructed her, with a
confidence I did not feel.
She looked away, embarrassed. But she did as I told her,
slowly removing garment after garment, until she was
dressed only in her white underwear. She turned to face
me, covering her small breasts modestly, blushing to her
toes. She was beautiful; her skin was a slightly creamy
off-white, and her complexion was wonderfully smooth. She
had a fantastically slim waist, and a tight little round
ass.
She stood still, as still as a statue, as I walked around
her, caressing her body with my hands, brushing her
shoulders with my lips. I removed her hands from her
breasts. Placing my own hands on the wonderful smooth
skin of her back, I pulled her to myself, kissing her
again.
She was hesitant and unsure; yet she was clearly excited.
I sat her on the bed, and I sat next to her, still
clothed. She was so beautiful, and yet so different from
the woman I loved. Could I love Salima as well? Would I
come to love her even as I’d come to love Heidi? If Heidi
could love two men, then perhaps I [and Ahmed] could love
two women.
I admired her profile, and held her hand for a moment
before speaking;
“Are you afraid, Salima?”
“A little bit.” She answered, quietly.
“So am I.” I said.
“Really?” She asked, looking up at me.
“Yes, of course.” I answered her. “I’ve never met you
until this afternoon. We barely know each other, but it’s
important that we should get along; you’re my brother’s
new wife. Ahmed and Heidi have missed each other
terribly, and I can understand their need to be alone
together. So here we are, you and I. I want to make love
with you, but it’s no small thing.
“What do you feel, Salima? You are undressed, sitting on
your brother-in-law’s bed. We have already touched each
other as lovers, and I feel that you want me. Am I right,
Salima?”
“Yes, Kalik.” She said quietly.
“Look in my eyes, Salima. Look in my eyes and tell me.”
Her large clear brown eyes turned to me; their beauty and
innocence struck me. Yes, I thought. I could love this
young woman.
“Yes, Kalik. I want you to share me with Ahmed, just like
you share Heidi. I want to be modern, I want to live
happily here in Europe with you and Ahmed and Heidi.”
“Do you find me attractive, Salima?”
“Yes, Kalik. You are like Ahmed, only younger.”
As we spoke, the space between our faces kept getting
smaller; she was nearly speaking into my mouth. We kissed
again, but it was different now. There was a current
passing between our bodies. I’d forgotten how excited it
was possible to be.
Salima’s small hand was stroking my penis through my
trousers, and the feel of her wonderful little body in my
arms was driving me insane. I removed my clothes, and
Salima watched with anticipation as my rockhard penis
bounced into view.
I kissed her and stroked her, with my hands and with my
penis. I told her truthfully that she was lovely.
I kissed her throat, and then moved down, kissing her
breasts, teasing her nipples. I kissed her belly, and her
thighs. She lifted her ass while I pulled down her
panties. She had no pubic hair. She spread her thin legs
apart for me, and I kissed her there.
“How is it, Salima, that you’re so smooth here?” I asked
her, running my fingers lightly over her wonderful silky
crotch.
“Ahmed did it, Kalik. Ahmed said you would like it.” She
answered, unsuccessfully trying to fight her
embarrassment.
“It’s very nice, Salima.” I answered her, and spoke no
more to her for a time, since my tongue was too busy
making music against her clitoris.
The young Turkish girl from the village with the shaved
pubic area came; I took great pleasure in that, and I
carried on until she came again.
“Kalik, please, do it to me the other way now. I want to
feel you inside of me, Kalik.” She said to me.
I was surprised at the forwardness of the girl. But then
again, she had been married once before; at only nineteen
years old she had had at least one more partner than I
had had.
She was so young and fresh, her skin so smooth and tight.
And she was as smooth and tight inside as she was
outside. My young sister-in-law’s vagina muscles gripped
my dick in the most wonderful way; her young arms around
me held our bodies close as I did my best to bring her to
another climax.
“Give me your seed, Kalik.” Salima whispered in my ear,
“I want to feel your hot seed in my body. yes! Oh yes,
Kalik. I’ve wanted that for so long!”
I didn’t quite understand what she meant, and I wasn’t in
a state to ask her just then. But I did ask her later, as
our passion cooled, and before we slept.
“What did you mean, Salima? When you said you “wanted it
for so long”? We only met today.”
“Ahmed is the most wonderful man I’ve ever met.” She
began, “And he spoke to me of you from the beginning; he
told me of your generous heart, and how the two of you
share everything. I didn’t understand at first, and when
I did I wasn’t sure about it. But Ahmed convinced me it
would be all right.
“I feel like I’ve known you for nearly as long as I’ve
known Ahmed. But that’s not what I meant. I haven’t felt
that feeling; that feeling of a man’s seed, since my
first husband died.”
I was more than slightly shocked. “Do you mean to say
that Ahmed has never lain with you?”
Strangely, that made her blush; the girl was naked in my
arms. “Oh yes, of course he has. But he never… he never
let me have his seed, not inside. He said you must have
the first chance.”
“First chance?” I didn’t quite get it yet.
“To make me pregnant. Ahmed said that when I am with
child, we will not know which brother is the father. He
said our child will have two fathers, and two mothers.”
And so it is.